


Hush, Little Liar

by AromaticAromantic



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Patton, Amputation, Angst, Destruction, Dissociation, Food mentions, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Kinda, M/M, Mention Of Homophobia, Mouth gore, No Character Death, Non-Consensual Kissing, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Threats, Torture, Unsympathetic Patton, Whump, but hey, eye gore, framing for crime, i think humiliation belongs here, more will be added as i plan, no bad deceit here, removal of the tongue, still hate that tag, uh, will add as I think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2020-07-31 13:50:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 26,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AromaticAromantic/pseuds/AromaticAromantic
Summary: Patton has had enough of Deceit lying, so he does what any sane and rational person does and removes Deceit's tongue.





	1. Silver Tongued - Or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton is happy to cut out people's tongues!

So _perhaps _Thomas needed to tell lies every now and again. Patton could acknowledge this after Deceit let Thomas spill a few secrets. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t furious and embarrassed by Deceit’s bitter pettiness. And that didn’t mean _Deceit _needed to lie.

But he did. Over and over. And the worst part was that the others were starting to enjoy it!

Roman could be caught grinning whenever listening to Deceit, and Logan had started taking false facts as a sign of affection. He would smile, correct them, and just keep going. And if Patton saw Deceit smirk from Virgil laughing at his snarkiness once more…

“People love pretty liars,” Deceit says to him, all silver tongued…silver tongued…

It hadn’t been _easy _to get Deceit alone, to knock him out, to drag him to his room and tie him down. But this was for the greater good. All for the purpose of making sure Deceit didn’t hurt anyone. Yes, definitely for that purpose.

(Not for the purpose of making him _shut up _and stop antagonizing him. Not because Patton wanted to be secure in his control of the mindscape. Not at all.)

“Oh, Patton, isn’t this a pleasant turn of events.”

Deceit tries hard to be calm and composed when he comes to, but Patton’s leaning over him, and when his mouth is forced open, some sort of plastic and metal item shoved in to _keep _it open…well…

He struggles, of course he did, but it doesn’t work. Patton grins down at him, stroking his cheek affectionately.

“Sorry, Dee, but you just keep telling lies…”

He sees Patton reach over and grab something sharp, which only makes him struggle more.

“But! You won’t be telling any _pretty lies _with no tongue, will you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt someone gave me-


	2. An Excuse A Day Keeps Logic Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Logan and Remus find out why Deceit isn't leaving his room.

It took a full two weeks for the injury to heal, and by that point Deceit had exhausted his excuses for not talking to the others. For hiding in his room as well, although he thinks Patton helped with that one.

Eating and drinking were difficult still, but he was getting the hang of it. Occasionally Patton would come by and gush over how much better he was without his tongue. Those were the worst moments. Being shoved down and kept still whilst Patton forces his mouth open and touches the wound.

“_Look at you! You’re much better this way! I could look at this all day~”_

But now he’d avoided Thomas’ calls three times, and that meant Logan getting on his case.

“Deceit, you need to stop this,” Logan scolds him when he opens his door a little, “Thomas needs to actually talk to you. And…we’re missing you as well.”

Deceit hesitates, then shrugs, going to shut the door.

Logan shoves his foot in it though, and suddenly Remus is there as well, shoving it open.

“Thank you, Remus, I thought your assistance would be useful.”

Deceit growls, a little distorted due to the lack of tongue, but gritting his teeth and pushing his vocal chords nonetheless to make the sound.

Logan and Remus push into the room, and he bites his lip hard, making sure not to open his mouth in case they see.

“Are you ill?” He jumps at Logan’s question. “You’re awfully quiet. A sore throat, perhaps?”

He nods quickly, taking the out, and takes to his phone to type out his excuse.

It’s why I’ve been in here. My throat hurts a lot and it’s been making me grumpy.

“Grumpy guts - oh, but imagine if guts _could _be grumpy! You rip them out of someone and the guts themselves just _yell_ at you!”

Deceit tries to hide his discomfort, especially when Logan comes closer.

“Yes, Remus, imagine that. Deceit, can you open your mouth for me? I need to check your throat, if it’s been this bad for this long.”

Deceit’s eyes fly wide open as Logan places a gentle hand under his chin. Between the knowledge that Logan would _find out _and all the times Patton had forced his mouth open…

He slaps Logan’s hand away and puts distance between them. And immediately he can see both sides in his room work out that something’s wrong. _Very _wrong.

Logan and Remus both know that Deceit’s secrecy and panic and lack of speech can only mean something bad has happened.

“Deceit. Let us see.”

He shakes his head, tries to get away from them, but he _can’t. _Remus is quick to pin him down, apologizing as Deceit starts to cry. Logan opens his mouth wide, hoping that Deceit just had some sort of bad throat infection.

“I really am sorry, Deceit,” he murmurs, “but two weeks is a long time to-oh fuck!”

Deceit cries harder as the pair see the scar that replaces his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember reading a kids book when I was younger in which a character saw this guy murder their parents, then had their tongue cut out, and then you saw them have it like...cauterized with red hot metal. I think the kid was meant to be 8 at the time? I dunno. Looking back I'm amazed that it was a children's story.


	3. Patton Likes Deceit's Scar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton overhears Logan and Remus plan an investigation, and makes his own plans.

Remus perhaps hadn’t made things easier for Deceit by poking at the scar, talking aloud about how gross it was that it was purple and wriggly.

But in his defence, he _was _intrusive thoughts alongside being part of creativity. And he hadn’t _intended _to make Deceit as upset as he became. And it wasn’t really his fault that at first opportunity Deceit had shoved both him and Logan out the room and locked it.

“Don’t worry about it,” Logan says, waving his attempts to explain off. “More importantly, this didn’t just happen naturally. Which means one of the other three must have done it.”

“Two!” Remus pipes up, “my brother would _never_.”

Logan hesitates, and immediately Remus glares at him.

“He. Would. Never.”

“I’m not saying he would,” Logan protests quickly, “just that we need to be sure.” At Remus’ angry face he softens slightly. “I don’t believe he’s the culprit. It’s just part of the procedure.”

R emus huffs, and Logan decides to ignore how that  _technically _ they should also be suspecting each other in that case.

“Don’t worry. We’ll fix this.” Logan smiles. “And we’ll talk to your brother first to rule him out.”

Patton watches from afar as the pair leave, discussing how to go about interrogating people. He’d  _known _ that someone would find out sooner or later. Admittedly, it was annoying that it was Logan who found out. But at least the logical side was convinced Patton was too stupid to plan things.

Especially to plan a cover up like he was about to have to do.

He shakes his head and gets going. If they were going to talk to Roman first then he had plenty of time. Maybe even enough time to pay a visit to Deceit afterwards!

He chuckles, wanting so desperately to see the scar he’d left again. He was sure he would never get tired of seeing it. And if he did, he’d just find new ways to appreciate the scar!

But first…

Deceit hates  everything. He doesn’t want to move from his bed, simply curling up and throwing blankets over himself.  He wanted to go and get food, but he was tired of having to work out the safest way to eat. He was certain there must be a simpler method than his current one. But after Patton found him googling workarounds for the lack of tongue his internet had mysteriously stopped working.

H e hears knocking at the door and ignores it. He had no desire to  see anyone right now. If it were Virgil or Roman, they’d be there to pester him about his absence again. If it were Logan or Remus they’d pity him and ask too many questions. And if it were Patton…

Patton rises up in his room.

Yes, if it were Patton, the side would find a way to get in regardless of how many barriers and locks he’d put up.

“Hey Dee!” Patton grins, and Deceit sits up quickly, determined not to make it easy for Patton to touch the scar again.

“So, first, we gotta talk...” Patton sits on the end of his bed, “see, Logan and Remus and the others are going to want you to use your phone to communicate – or even sign language! And, well...that’s fine, but, I can’t have you lying, or telling them _I _hurt you...”

Deceit narrows his eyes.

“So if you do either, then I need you to know that I will remove every one of your hands.”

Deceit freezes.

“But equally, if you tell them that it _isn’t _someone – yes, I spot that loophole – or in any way use the truth to tell them it was me and not somebody else, then I will not only cut off your hands, but I will also fill your ears with hot glue. Got it?”

Deceit flinches, rubbing his ears, the mention of it making them ache. But he nods.

Patton grins, clapping his hands excitedly, before wrestling Deceit down to the bed, trying and eventually succeeding in pinning the weaker side down. Just like every time. Deceit wasn’t listened to as much as Patton, and as such was always going to simply be...weaker.

It doesn’t stop Deceit from struggling and trying to wriggle out.

Just as it doesn’t stop Patton forcing his mouth open.

“Bite me and I’ll remove your teeth.”

Deceit cries just as he always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now ao3 is caught up with tumblr-  
Also watch Deceit be less submissive in this than Prince and Pet. At least for now-


	4. Thank God Roman Is Innocent or Remus Just Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Logan and Remus narrow it down to either Virgil or Patton.

“When did you last speak to Deceit?” Logan asks, “face to face, that is.”

Roman raises an eyebrow. He was used to Logan interrogating him (usually because yes, he had eaten the last of the crofters’) but usually he had his Sherlock Holmes getup on. And usually wasn’t joined by his brother, who was bouncing on his feet yet strangely quiet.

“I mean, I asked him how he was just yesterday,” he says, “but, uh...hey, Remus, leave my drawers alone-”

Remus tips out one drawer regardless, and Logan sighs. He adored Remus but had asked for “subtle”. He was sure somewhere in an alternate universe he was explaining what subtle meant to Roman as well.

“He’s looking for clues.”

“Clues for _what?_”

“Aha! I knew it! I _knew _you had my leather jacket!”

Logan sighs once again as the brothers start arguing over whose jacket it was. Really, you’d think that they’d realise that writing “R. Sanders” as a label wasn’t going to help.

“Please stay on track,” he interrupts, “Remus, you _know _why we’re here.”

Remus pouts and chucks the jacket aside before continuing more seriously. And that disturbs Roman a lot.

“Alright. The last time we actually spoke together was about two weeks ago. Now what’s going on? Is he okay?”

Remus calls out his innocence, which does _nothing _to make Roman any less concerned.

“Is Deceit hurt?” he asks, and at the pause, “he’s hurt, isn’t he? What’s going on? Tell me! Come on, you can’t leave me out of this!”

Logan and Remus exchange glances. Logan was reluctant, but Remus couldn’t hide anything from his brother. Anything at all, as Logan had found out the day he’d walked into the kitchen for breakfast and had Roman yell “you _fucked _my _brother?” _at him.

“Okay so Deceit doesn’t have a tongue and that’s odd because he _used _to have a tongue and my apple pie says someone probably cut it out and we wanted to rule you out first!”

“Someone _what?”_

Logan was willing to pray to a god he didn’t believe in to make the pair be quiet right now.

Patton meanwhile was quite satisfied with his actions so far. Hide the tongue in someone else’s bedroom, make sure evidence pointing to himself was removed, and let the person’s natural guiltiness make them look like the bad guy.

It had worked for years on Deceit and Remus, so he failed to see why it wouldn’t work now.

“And that’s why you can’t tell Virgil or Patton.”

It took half an hour, but finally Logan had gotten through to Roman. And Remus was looking at him with the same adoration that he did the day he was able to explain how to make deodorant.

“You’re so _clever_,” Remus says with a soft gasp, “isn’t my little honey bunch so clever, Ro-Bro?”

“I love you too, but-”

“Honey bunch?”

“Honey bunch of flesh!”

“...what?”

Logan clears his throat, getting them back on task.

“Oh, right...uh...but Logan...it’s _Patton and Virgil_. You don’t really think they’d do something like that, do you?” Roman protests, not wanting to consider the possibility.

“It’s either one of them or one of us,” Logan points out.

Neither Roman or Remus have an answer to that, so Logan continues.

“Let’s look through their rooms first. And then we’ll make a plan. Just...we can’t let them know. Just in case.”

Deceit wakes up to Patton forcing his mouth open, wincing at the feel of Patton’s fingernail on the bed of his mouth.

“Go back to sleep,” Patton murmurs, “tomorrow’s going to be a big day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter has Logan revealing the culprit...or does it?


	5. Who Framed Virgil Sanders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton frames Virgil!

Patton’s room yielded nothing, so the trio go to Virgil’s room rather apprehensive. It was possible they’d find nothing, but you still had to check for evidence.

“Ew, what is _that?”_

Logan sighs. The first four times they’d heard Roman yell they’d assumed he’d found something. Every time it turned out he was just mocking old photos of Remus.

“Yes, we get it, Roman. Stop insulting your brother.” Honestly, it was like dealing with children.

“No, no!” He pauses as Roman starts to sound panicked. “I found something weird and gross and I don’t want to touch it!”

Logan hesitates. Knowing Virgil it could easily just be a piece of food he didn’t take downstairs and had gone mouldy. But equally…he looks over at Remus who happily goes over, and sees him wrinkle his nose.

“Ew...”

Logan wasn’t going to look if Remus found it gross. He looks away when he sees Remus lift up something grey and...fuzzy. And when he hears Roman retch and yell at Remus “not to lick it”, he decides he’s made the right decision.

“Ah! Okay, so this is Deceit’s tongue-oh fuck this is Deceit’s tongue.”

Once everyone has stopped retching, Logan bags the item up, labelling it “Virgil’s Room” in sharpie.

“Why did you _lick it?” _Roman asks in disgust, “and how could you tell _by _licking it?”

Remus shrugs, and Logan quietly asks him to wash his mouth fully before they next kiss.

“Should we confront Virgil?” Roman asks, after another pause.

“Well...” Logan hesitates. “We should, yes.”

Nobody really wants to, instead looking at each other awkwardly.

“...Come on. Let’s go.”

Virgil and Patton were in the kitchen, sharing coffee and eating cookies. Virgil was a bit on edge, because Roman had been acting secretive that morning, but at least he had Patton to talk to. Usually he’d discuss his anxiety with Deceit, but the side wasn’t talking to him, so…

“Don’t worry, kiddo,” Patton says brightly, “I’m sure he’s just working a few things out.”

Virgil nods, looking aside.

“I guess so. I’m just-”

“Virgil! You foul-oh, hey Patton!”

Virgil jumps as the other three enter the room, Roman looking...angry. He bites his lip and waves. Patton grins and waves as well, offering a hug to Roman.

“You three doing okay?” he asks cheerfully, “Virgil and I were just having a snack!”

“We’re fine,” Logan reassures him, “but we need to talk to Virgil.”

“What? Why me? What did I do? I didn’t do anything!” Virgil protests, fast and almost frantic. His friends had been acting odd and now they wanted to “talk to him”?

“Aww, kiddo, I’m sure you didn’t do anything,” Patton offers Virgil a wide smile, and it almost makes Virgil relax.

Almost.

“Actually, we-”

“Virgil cut out Deceit’s tongue!”

Everyone goes silent.

Everyone turns to Remus.

Remus shrugs. “I mean, that’s what-”

“You think I did _what?”_

Logan tries to control the damage, but it’s a bit late. Remus is on the defence, Roman is trying to hold Virgil back from lashing out. Patton appears to be “freaking out”, and Virgil is either about to hit Remus or have a panic attack. Or both.

“Understand,” he cuts in quickly, “we found Deceit’s tongue in your room. We only meant to-”

“What are you _talking about?” _Virgil’s speech starts to sound distorted, “I didn’t-Patton! Patton, you believe me, right?”

“I don’t understand,” Patton says meekly, “what’s this about Deceit’s...tongue…?”

Logan sighs, hissing at Roman and Remus to stay quiet whilst he explains.

“Deceit has...lost his tongue,” Logan says slowly, “we have reason to believe Virgil is the one responsible for...removing it.”

“Patton, I didn’t!” Virgil starts sobbing, “please, Patton! Listen to me!”

Patton makes a show of biting his lip, hesitating and doing his best to appear nervous.

“I mean...maybe we could ask Deceit? He must be able to...write down who did it, right?”

Deceit finds himself summoned out of nowhere, with everyone surrounding him. Remus and Roman both glaring at Virgil, Patton with false concern on his face, and Logan quick to shush everyone before turning to him.

“Deceit. We need you to tell us who it was that...cut your tongue out. Was it Virgil?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...what do we think is gonna happen?


	6. Careful How You Proceed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit struggles with making sure nobody gets hurt. :)

Once, when Thomas was seven, they went to a birthday party, and got pushed off a trampoline. Whilst Thomas was crying one of the mothers asked him who pushed him.

Patton and Virgil had argued over telling the truth, because the kid in question was the birthday child. And in the state of panic and confusion, Logan had told Deceit to make a decision.

Deceit had got someone else in trouble whilst trying to think quickly, and it had made everyone very tense and angry with each other for quite a while.

(Let it never be said Deceit tried to be the bad guy.)

Deceit gestures to his mouth and shrugs, hoping to argue that if he can’t speak then he can’t tell them. But Patton hands him a notepad and pen, smiling so sweetly.

“Was it Virgil?” he asks, so innocent.

Deceit stares at the paper and starts to shake. He _can’t _admit that it’s Patton, he refuses to risk the threats Patton has given. But equally he couldn’t throw Virgil under the bus. Right?

“Deceit, please...” Roman urges him to write something down.

“Dee – please – tell them the truth – don’t...” Virgil sounds ready to cry, and he doesn’t blame him.

Once, when Thomas was twelve, his friend had got a piercing done that he wasn’t allowed. His friend’s parents asked him about it, and they had panicked.

Virgil and Patton had argued over the anxiety both options caused, alongside which option was the most moral. In the state of panic and confusion, Deceit had begged Logan to make a decision.

Patton and Virgil had been furious at Logan for saying the facts of the situation, and Thomas had lost a friend that day.

Deceit had lost one too.

(Let it never be said Deceit doesn’t have regrets.)

“Deceit.”

Every time Virgil and Patton got him caught between a rock and a hard place. Every time. He was always caught between them, balancing anxiety and morals and getting shit for it.

Now, the only difference was that Patton had calculated this, and that Virgil was completely innocent.

“Deceit, we need to know.”

“Please, Dee! Please, just – tell them the truth!”

“Now, Virgil, don’t rush him. It’s important we know the truth!”

Once, when Thomas sixteen, someone had overheard his friend come out to him. They’d become aggressive, and Thomas’ friend had been afraid. Terrified.

Virgil had begged him to take his side and stay quiet, but he’d ended up siding with Patton.

Angry and terrified by the aggression, Virgil had lashed out at Deceit, leaving a bruise across his face and their friendship had started to fall apart.

Sure, Deceit had ended up hurt, but at least Thomas had kept his friendship, right?

(Let it never be said Deceit stands only for himself.)

“Deceit, are you okay?” Roman asks, seeing Deceit start to cry. And it only makes Deceit cry harder.

“Hey, dork, you don’t need to-”

Deceit wipes away his tears and scribbles down the only lie he can think of to escape the immediate situation without anybody getting hurt. And then he holds it up.

_I did it. I didn’t mean for them to blame you, Virgil._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnn...  
Fear not, Deceit will explain how his tongue got into Virgil's room! Snek boi has it all figured out :)  
Well...he has his "I did it" lie figured out.


	7. Do You Believe In Monsters?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit is put under supervision for the sake of his mental health.

Deceit explains his lie as best as he can. He explains how he had intended to kill himself, explained that he hated how much he lied, hated _himself_. He explains how he had intended to throw the tongue in the bin, but must have got it mixed up with Virgil’s borrowed clothes. He cries throughout, until his notepad is unusable.

They all gather around him, concerned by the state of his mental health. They all want the best for him, really. They love him and support him, really.

He doesn’t protest to any of it. He can’t, without a way to communicate. And Patton’s hugging him too tightly to try write even if his notepad was still an option.

Deceit sniffs, Virgil’s fingers gently carding through his hair. It’s nice to feel comfort, even if it’s not for the _actual _reason he needs comfort.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner you felt like this?” Roman asks him, and pauses, realising that Deceit can’t answer.

Deceit shrugs, not wanting to commit to any more lies.

“...You realise we’re going to have to keep watch over you now?” Virgil’s voice is oddly gentle, and Deceit glances at Logan, almost hopefully.

“Typically, 24/7 watch would be prescribed until the threat of self injury or suicide was over,” Logan admits, “do you think you’re still a risk to yourself?”

Deceit bites his lip, not sure whether he should nod or not. Sure, it’d be nice to be free from Patton, but what if they worked out he was lying? And did he _really _want to be watched?

“I...I think we should probably do it anyway,” Patton says suddenly, and Deceit tenses up the smallest amount, “sorry, Dee, but...it’s been two weeks, I just...so much could have happened...”

Roman hugs Patton gently as the side sniffs and smiles weakly, apologising for “being emotional”.

“...Patton’s right,” Logan sighs, “I’m sorry, Deceit. But two weeks of isolation is not good for your mental health. I...would not be comfortable leaving you alone after that.”

Deceit dares to feel hope that Logan or Remus will keep watch over him, and tries to regain some of his composure.

“Patton’s pretty good at looking after people,” Roman suggests, and Deceit’s blood runs colder, “what do you think, Logan?”

Logan looks at Deceit, and if he’d been better at sensing emotions, he might have noticed the desperation for being fear. Instead, he takes it as wanting Patton to keep watch, keep care of him,.

“I think that’s an acceptable idea,” he says with a nod, “unless anybody else has objections?”

Deceit most _certainly _has objections, but Patton’s arms constrict tighter around him as the side says he’s _ever _so happy to help.

Virgil and Remus see it as a good idea, because Patton’s so sweet and fatherly that Deceit is _sure _to feel good having him watching.

Logan and Roman are so sure that it’s a good idea, one that will help Deceit’s mental state improve in no time.

And Patton is just hugging him ever tighter.

When they’re alone in Deceit’s room, Patton having convinced everyone Deceit should rest, he’s expecting Patton to lash out at him. He didn’t break any rules, but Patton put effort into making Virgil seem guilty, so he’s sure he’s pissed the side off.

And yet Patton just smiles at him, watching silently for a few moments. More than enough to put Deceit on edge.

“I’m glad you told us how you were feeling,” Patton says finally, still smiling. “I was _so sure _that Virgil was going to get in trouble, but...”

Deceit grabs a pen to start writing, but Patton is quicker, catching his wrist and snatching the pen away.

“Oh dear, let’s not start fighting...” Deceit struggles to pull away from Patton’s vice-like grip, vague strangled noises coming from his throat as he fights to talk. Not that Patton cares or acknowledges his efforts.

“Now...let’s check you haven’t caused yourself any more injuries, and then I’ll make sure to confiscate anything that could be used to hurt yourself...alright~?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it seems almost none of you expected last chapter-


	8. Look At This Photo-Woops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton causes property damage whilst collecting up any and all sharp objects in Deceit’s room.

Deceit would typically have a lot to say about Patton going through his room.

Seeing as he can’t say anything, and Patton has decisively confiscated all his writing tools (because “the plastic could be dangerous”), he resorts to more physical actions.

Patton’s “concern” is patronising and almost worse than his usual behaviour. Almost. At least this didn’t hurt. _But _Deceit would sooner die than have Patton go through his belongings.

Patton goes for his drawers first, and Deceit slaps his hand away, attempting to growl at him.

Patton smiles widely and shoves Deceit aside.

“Now, Dee, it’s _important _that I check for anything that could be used to hurt you.”

Deceit freezes for a moment, and Patton shoves him harder, making him fall back, wincing as he smacks his head on the floor.

Deceit rubs his head and sees Patton pick up a photo frame.

“Huh, glass...glass is definitely not allowed...” Patton smiles sweetly, “imagine if it got broken and shards ended up down your empty mouth...without a tongue you wouldn’t be able to get them out...”

Deceit shudders, and spots Patton chuck the frame into a bin bag. He catches the sight of the photo inside – him, Virgil and Remus dressed up for Halloween – and goes to get it. He didn’t have many photos left from before their...break up, so to speak.

Patton sees him reach, and grabs it quick, pulling it away.

“Nope! You can’t have this!”

Deceit growls slightly, standing up fully, relishing the inch of height he has over Patton as he reaches for it, snatching it from Patton’s hands. Patton gasps, and then pauses, seeing Deceit’s soft expression as the side glances over the photo.

“...Oh! Oh, it’s the _photo _you want...”

Deceit nods slightly, forgetting himself for a moment.

Remus and him were fixing their friendship with Virgil slowly, of course, but he still felt a knot in his stomach at the way things used to be.

Patton hums, and then snatches the frame from Deceit, grinning as he quickly breaks the glass, tearing the photograph from the frame. Deceit makes a choked noise and goes to grab it back, but Patton is quicker. Patton rips the photo up, over and over until it’s nothing but shredded paper.

Deceit stares in horror, tears welling up in his eyes as he sees the tattered memory fall to the floor.

“Oh dear...”

Deceit can _hear _the smirk in Patton’s voice.

“I’m so _sorry_, I was only trying to _help_.”

Deceit tries to snarl, but fumbles with his mouth movements, making it rather lackluster. And Patton _laughs_, grinning and cupping Deceit’s cheeks with his hand.

“Now, now,” he coos, digging his nails in painfully when Deceit goes to push him away. “You _did _say you did this to yourself. You _chose _to take the fall for this. And that means accepting that I have to do this. For your _safety_.”

Deceit tries to shake his head, and jolts as Patton shoves him back hard, down against the bed, pinning him down whilst reaching for another photograph within reach.

Virgil and him playing when they were children. Virgil grinning, no eyeshadow yet, only a vague sense of childlike wonder. Deceit’s eyes wide and bright, not yet pushed back to the edge of the subconscious.

“_Dee, pass me the pens, I wanna draw a spider.”_

He goes to beg Patton to put it back, and when he realises he can’t he tries to struggle and grab at it.

It’s still no use, Patton simply positions himself so that Deceit’s arms are trapped under him, and slowly starts to rip the photo up.

“_The black pen, idiot. Spiders aren’t yellow.”_

“_They can be!”_

Deceit struggles, and cries when the scraps of photo fall onto his chest, barely able to make out Patton’s wide grin through his tears.

“Oh dear, did I rip that one up _too?” _Patton doesn’t even try to hide his excitement. “Gosh, maybe if you didn’t make such a fuss then I wouldn’t have gotten so _confused_.”

Deceit sobs, hating how useless he seemed to be without his voice. He should be _stronger _than Patton. He struggles again, but the weight of Patton on his torso and arms keeps him well and truly stuck.

“Stop crying and listen to me,” Patton hisses, and Deceit winces at the harsh slap he receives, forcing himself to stop crying. Just in case.

“There...now, you’re going to lie back here and let me go through your things, or else it won’t just be photographs I ruin.”

Deceit narrows his eyes, trying to look threatening instead of scared and sad. Patton picks up the scraps of photograph, placing them in his palm as he continues.

“For example, that toy snake I know Remus made you...imagine if that got damaged whilst I was moving a pair of scissors? Or those pretty pyjamas that make you think of Virgil...and oh dear, don’t you still have drawings from them? All those childhood memories...”

Deceit blinks away tears, and forces himself to nod slowly, to “relax”, in some shape or form.

“Good...now, open your mouth wide, I want you to keep these bits inside whilst I sort through everything.”

Deceit lies still on the bed, scraps of his past sticking to the bottom of his mouth, whilst someone he hates rids him of his privacy.

He hears more photographs get ripped into shreds, occasionally feels more scraps get shoved into his mouth, and is relieved when Patton makes good on his promise to only ruin the photographs.

He lets himself fade out from the present, thankful that at least he gets to keep the drawings and the gifts and the toys.

He didn’t want to lose out on the memories, the only comforting part of being under watch in his room.

Once Patton notices Deceit has fully dissociated, he chuckles.

“Stupid snake, thinking all I’d destroy is the photos...”

He picks up the spider drawing Virgil did once, and tears it in half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tame chapters for now-


	9. Deceit Is In Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Virgil sees the aftermath of some of Patton’s abuse.

Deceit wakes up.

He doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but Patton’s not close by, so he feels safe removing the paper from his mouth. He closes his eyes tightly, trying not to shake. He was _Deceit_. He was strong, in control, he was everything he wasn’t feeling.

He looks around, and notices that the drawings he held so close to his heart have been taken down. Bits of sellotape with scraps of paper are still visible. He isn’t sure where they are.

His photographs. His drawings.

He breathes deeply, trying to reassure himself. He was _Deceit_. Strong. In control. He was a dark side, and he was more than this shaking tongue-less trauma victim.

Patton comes in out of the bathroom attached to his room. Deceit glances at him, seeing Patton stretch and tilt his head, fully dressed but with still wet hair.

“You didn’t _hurt yourself_ whilst I was in the shower, did you?” Patton taunts.

Deceit glares, then points at the missing drawings, waving his arms in an attempt to ask _where the fuck are they._

“...Oh! Oh...Dee, I’m _so sorry_, they ripped whilst I was taking them down...I had to check everywhere...and, well...paper sellotaped to the wall...”

Deceit can sense the lie, but it feels like a truth. He starts to shake, not sure of what to think or believe. He had to be strong and in control, but it felt so _false _and so _hard _when his precious memories were being destroyed.

Patton wraps his arms around Deceit gently as Deceit begins to sob. He rubs Deceit’s back gently as Deceit cries harder. He runs his fingers through Deceit’s hair, pressing his head against his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he coos, “how about I do you some nice drawings to replace them? Nice, new memories for you?”

Deceit shakes his head. Or, he tries. Just as he tries to push away. But Patton holds him tighter, almost painfully so.

“Yes, we should do that...nice, new memories for you...make you behave, instead of getting the others to stop listening to me...”

Patton hums, and then lets Deceit go, shoving him away. And Deceit can only stumble back, scared and confused.

Patton takes out a shard of glass from his pocket, and holds it up so Deceit can see it. Sharp, jagged, long. Deceit wants to understand why this is happening. He doesn’t understand why Patton is doing this.

He’s not strong.

He’s not in control.

“Lie down,” Patton orders, and Deceit shakes his head.

Like _hell _he was going to let Patton just...keep hurting him.

“I won’t ask again.” Patton’s voice is so...dark. “We can do this the easy way, with you lying back and letting me do this. Or, you can resist and I’ll slice your pretty throat.”

Deceit glares but hesitates. He didn’t _want _to back down. It was humiliating enough to have someone trace the gap where your tongue should be, taunting and teasing you. But to agree to just _let _them?

Deceit touches his throat gently.

It really was so fragile…

He sighs, and slowly lies back on the bed. It’d be more humiliating if Patton slit his throat and went crying to the others about him “hurting himself”.

Once again, Patton is on him, this time trailing the glass shard over Deceit’s scar. Deceit tries so hard to stay still, knowing that one wrong move and he’ll be bleeding out.

His heart races as Patton pushes the shard further along the scar, almost gagging him on the glass.

“Breathe,” Patton instructs, “otherwise you’ll gag, and my hand will slip, and you’re going to end up with your tonsils removed.”

Deceit _hates _that he has a point.

“You’re doing so well, Dee...now, close your mouth, I want you to hold that shard inside...”

Patton pulls his hand out, and Deceit shakes, jerking slightly as he feels the jagged edge hit the back of his throat. He grabs at the bedsheets, desperately trying to remain in control of himself.

He was Deceit. He was strong. He was-

Patton covers his mouth and grins at him.

“Let’s see how long you can handle this...”

Deceit can’t open his mouth. Patton’s hand is clamped tight around it, and he sobs when Patton suddenly slaps him, making the shard slam against the inside of his cheek. It slices through the scar on the bottom of his mouth. It slashes the back of his throat. Blood fills his mouth.

Patton keeps going, until the inside of Deceit’s mouth is bloody and raw. Until he can’t cry any more, and until he’s willing to accept Patton’s tight hug after the shard is removed and tossed aside.

Virgil goes to check on Deceit, and walks in on Patton hugging a crying Deceit. Close and secure, Deceit’s head buried in his chest. He can’t help but smile, knowing that Deceit is in safe hands.

“Do you two want to come down for lunch?” he asks, making the two look over. “Logan’s cooking, says it’s important to, uh, eat well when you feel shi-not good...”

Deceit sobs, but Patton nods, smiling.

“Of course. Sorry, Virgil, Dee bit the insides of his mouth pretty bad, so give us a minute and we’ll be right down~”

And Virgil nods, with no reason to believe otherwise, smiling softly and shutting the door as he leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *innocent*


	10. Smell, But Don't Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit behaves himself around the others. :)

Deceit stares down at his food, poking at it gently.

“Come on, Dee...eat up,” Patton says, ever so encouraging. Deceit goes to glare at him, but Patton’s threats loom over him like a storm cloud.

“_Now, Dee, if you’re rude to me, or make anyone suspicious whilst we eat, then I’ll pull off your scales one by one. Do you want to feel that? Do you want to have no tongue **and **no scales? No? Then be good.”_

Deceit wasn’t risking it. He loved his scales, and he wasn’t convinced the others could keep him safe from Patton’s threat even if he told them. Besides, at least he wasn’t _alone _with Patton. He could focus on the others. Such as Logan insisting he try and eat.

“You..._are _able to, right…?” Virgil asks softly.

Deceit sighs and nods. He could. He just didn’t want to do it in front of others. He was sure they’d stare, or else try so hard _not _to stare that it became just as awkward.

“We need to know you’re eating properly,” Logan tells him.

So he reluctantly places the forkful of lasagna in his mouth carefully, and as he starts to chew, moves it around his mouth with his finger. He hates not being able to taste it, especially when it _smells _so good. But at least he can eat it.

Once he’s certain it’s chewed enough, he swallows the food, and grabs a tissue to wipe his finger on. He _could _use the fork, but he’d learned the hard way that he was liable to jabbing himself with it by mistake.

He looks up and sees Roman staring at him. Virgil obviously trying not to. Logan and Patton looking almost fascinated, for different reasons. Only Remus seems to not notice, or care.

He forces a noise from his throat, as offended and snappy as he can make it.

“Do you want to write down what you mean?” Logan asks quickly, “or...here, borrow my phone.”

He hands Deceit his phone, and Deceit huffs before opening up a text to speech converter.

“Don’t stare.”

He _wanted _to tell them in a tone more fitting of his usual self. But he was a slow typer, and he didn’t want to waste time when all he wanted was for them to stop staring.

“Sorry,” mumbles Roman, “I, uh, wasn’t expecting...”

Deceit rolls his eyes, going to ask if he expected him to throw his head around to move the food, only to pause. No, trying to say that would just cause an odd set of noises. Embarrassing. Humiliating. Deceit refused to be embarrassed and humiliated in front of the others.

Instead, he makes a show of shaking his head, huffing and dramatically throwing a hand to his chest. He raises his eyebrow at Roman, who smirks, seeming to at least understand the idea behind it.

“Good to see you’re still...you,” Roman says, a lot softer than his typical declarations.

Virgil leans over and squeezes Deceit’s hand.

Deceit is thankful for them all. Especially when he’s kept downstairs to watch a movie. The break from being alone with Patton stretches on until after dinner, and he loves it.

He loves it a little less when back alone in his room with Patton.

“Oh, Dee, you did _so well!_” Patton says with a grin, “now I don’t have to punish you. Aren’t you happy for that?”

Deceit narrows his eyes, and goes over to his wardrobe. Patton had, at least, left a couple bits. The snake gifted by Remus still lay over the bottom of his closet, for example. His soft pyjamas, which he planned on changing into as soon as Patton gave him privacy…

Virgil’s old hoodie.

He touches it gently, running his fingers along it for a moment before taking out his pyjamas and shutting the door.

“Oh, are you getting ready for bed?” Patton smiles. “I think I’ll do the same...”

Deceit watches as Patton summons a pair of pyjamas from his room. Soft and baby blue. Cute.

Deceit heads into his bathroom, since it was obvious Patton wouldn’t just _give _him privacy. He goes to shut the door, but then Patton forces his way in.

“Sorry, Dee! 24/7, remember?”

Deceit growls slightly and shoves Patton out. He goes to shut the door _again_, but Patton pushes it open, and suddenly there’s a hand at his throat and he’s being shoved against the bathroom wall.

Misplaced and uneven tiles dig into his back, and fingers squeeze at his throat as he struggles.

“See, I was _going _to reward you for doing what I said. For being a good little _controllable _snake.”

Deceit manages to let out an angry noise. He was _in _control! He was not going to _be_ _controlled!_

Of course, being pressed against the wall and struggling to breathe didn’t do much to disprove Patton’s words…

“But,” Patton ignores him, “now I guess we have to punish you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D :D :D


	11. Punishment Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit gets punished-
> 
> TW: There is a non-consensual kiss at the end. There is no rape or non consensual sexual content in this story, but at times there may be a non consensual kiss, because Patton is messing with Deceit by being "affectionate".

Deceit struggles fruitlessly against Patton, especially when the side ties his hands to the towel rack. Deceit _hates _being restrained, and yet has to wonder how Patton can tie knots so well. No matter how much he squirms and tries to pull away from the damn thing he just can’t.

He wishes he could get summoned by one of the others, just to escape.

Patton pulls away when Deceit tries to kick him, picking up the fallen pyjamas. Deceit struggles more, trying to talk, straining his throat in an attempt to make a begging sound. He didn’t care about humiliating himself right now, not when Patton had already destroyed so many of his precious items.

“These were a gift from Virgil, right?” Patton muses, “must have been...what, a few months before he left to live with us?”

Deceit struggles more, the cord digging into his wrists painfully. He refused to just stand there and watch Patton mess with his things.

Patton smirks, and slowly takes out a set of matches.

Deceit’s eyes widen and he struggles more, making strained, desperate noises.

“I love scented candles...I wonder what this will smell like?”

He sets fire to the pyjamas.

“_I made these. Uh, it’s a thank you for the hoodie. I never thanked you properly for that.”_

“_I totally gave you that to get a thank you...oh these are so soft, I love-I mean...I hate it...thank you.”_

_A snort from Virgil._

“_Sure you do. Uh...you’re welcome, I guess.”_

Deceit can’t stop crying. Patton puts out the fire eventually, running the blackened mess of what remains under the shower and chucking it at him.

Deceit flinches and sobs.

“This is why you need to _listen _to me,” Patton says calmly, watching as Deceit tries to edge away from the soaking burnt fabric. “If you behave, you get to keep what’s left of yours. If you don’t, I’ll happily ruin them all for you. Even Virgil’s old hoodie.”

Deceit’s eyes widen, and through his tears he can see Patton smirk.

“Yes, I know that’s precious to you. Now...are you going to behave?”

Deceit sobs, wanting to shake his head and protest. He doesn’t _want _to do as Patton says. But he can’t speak, his wrists are bleeding from the cord pressing in, and his possessions are being destroyed.

He has no photos, no drawings, no soft pyjamas…

Everything he holds dear is being whittled down to nothing.

He can’t bring himself to fight what Patton says right now.

So he nods slightly, weakly. Pitifully.

“You’ll behave?”

He nods.

“You’ll do what I say?”

He nods.

“Even if you don’t like it?”

He hesitates, but nods.

Patton walks over and wipes Deceit’s eyes gently, removing the glistening tears.

“It’s okay,” he coos, watching an almost empty look take over the side’s face. “If you do what I tell you, I’ll reward you a little. If you listen to me, agree with me, do as I say...and that includes when we decide what Thomas should do, you know.”

Deceit eyes him warily. He wasn’t so sure about that last one, but he wasn’t about to let him know. And really, how could he? He was confined to shaking and nodding his head.

Instead, he tugs at the cord around his wrists, making a faint pleading noise. Patton tuts, and inspects Deceit’s hands not-so-gently.

“Gosh, you hurt them pretty badly...we’ll have to bandage that...and keep your gloves on...”

Deceit was planning to do that regardless. He forces a whine, trying to get Patton to understand, and sees the side smirk.

“You’re cute when you do that.”

Embarrassing. Humiliating.

Suddenly Patton kisses him.

Deceit freezes, not expecting the feel of someone else’s lips on his, and closes his eyes tightly, trying not to think about the way Patton forces his tongue in, licking the injured scar. And then Patton pulls away, wiping his mouth.

“I was right, that did feel odd,” Patton murmurs to himself, and then sets about removing the cord from around Deceit’s wrists, as if nothing had happened.

Deceit, however, doesn’t sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait until you see the reward tho-


	12. Naked Aunt Patty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit does what he's told.

Deceit is pretending to be asleep when he hears someone enter the room.

“Ah, Patton, good morning. Is Deceit awake?”

Logan.

“Nope, not yet! Sorry, I’ll make sure he’s up in time for breakfast!” Patton doesn’t seem to be lying, at least. Deceit hopes he hasn’t lost the ability to tell when others are lying…

“Thank you. Remus suggested to me that we get Deceit to talk about his mental health difficulties to Dr Picani over in the imagination.”

Deceit has to hold back a snort. He could hear how that got suggested, regardless of how Logan condenses it down into something more socially acceptable.

“Oh! That’s a good idea, Lo! I’ll be sure to let him know when he wakes up!”

Patton’s voice is all false concern and enthusiasm. Deceit has no desire to see a doctor. What was he supposed to do, write down that he’d had his tongue cut out and now had to pretend that it was self inflicted? Yes, perfect idea. Maybe Patton wouldn’t murder him for that.

“Thank you, Patton. As well as that, let him know we need his input on whether Thomas should visit his aunt this weekend.”

Deceit just _knows _Patton doesn’t like that.

“Do we need him to decide? I mean, we already took a vote! 3 to 2, remember?”

“But he didn’t vote.”

A pause.

“...Well, I suppose you’re right. I’ll let him know!”

Deceit hears Logan leave, the door shut, and then Patton is shaking him harshly. He jumps and turns to the so-called moral side.

“Get up. It’s morning.”

So Patton didn’t notice that he didn’t sleep...just as well. He sits up, yawning and flinching at the way Patton stares at the inside of his mouth as he does.

“Gosh I love seeing you with no tongue...” Patton pulls him onto his lap, and Deceit forces himself not to resist as the side strokes his injured scar. “It’s so _cute!_”

Deceit reminds himself that he can’t risk hitting Patton, not when Patton had already ruined so much for him. His photographs, his drawings, his pyjamas…

He stays still, letting Patton stroke his scar. The parts where the glass cut are still healing, but they don’t sting as much today, which is just as well. He tries not to think about the previous night, as if he hadn’t just spent a full eight hours thinking about it.

The smell of the burning fabric.

The feel of Patton’s mouth on his.

He shudders and tenses up, thankful when Patton lets him go.

“Now, here’s what’s important for today!” Patton grabs Deceit’s injured wrists, making the side wince. “Logan wants your vote for whether Thomas should go to see his aunt! And you’re going to be good for me, and agree that he _should_, alright?”

Deceit frowns. Thomas’ aunt was openly homophobic. Her being ill didn’t mean they owed her a visit. Patton squeezes his wrists tightly though, earning a whimper from him.

“If you do, I’ll reward you. If you don’t, I’ll have to punish you again.”

Burning fabric.

Lips.

He nods quickly, trying not to sob. He refused to feel even more pathetic than he already did.

Patton chuckles and hugs him tightly.

“Good boy.”

“Are you sure?”

Deceit nods again. Logan and the others seemed surprised by his vote to visit the aunt. And admittedly, he was as well. But...it was only _one _visit. It wouldn’t be that bad, surely? Patton is beaming, but Deceit can’t help but notice how uncomfortable Virgil looks.

Right, the aunt always did make Virgil more anxious than usual…

“Well...as it’s now 4 against 2,” Logan says with a sigh, “Thomas will go and see her.”

Deceit nods along, too focused on the way Patton eyes Logan. He swears he can _see _thoughts and ideas forming in the side’s mind.

He manages to go the day avoiding dealing with Patton directly. He agrees to see Dr Picani, making an “appointment” to go the next day. He plays Mario Kart with the twins, making harsh noises whenever he loses (which is often). He sits awkwardly with Virgil. He has tea with Logan, even though he doesn’t see the point when he can’t taste it.

That night it’s late when he’s forced to return back to his room with Patton. And he’s thankful, because he can simply go to sleep. He’s not used to staying awake all night and all day.

But instead Patton is pulling him away, sitting down and pulling him onto his lap.

“I was really pleased with how _well _you behaved today. Even if Logan tried to pull my control away..._you _did what you were told. You deserve a reward.”

Deceit scowls, trying to pull away. He didn’t _want _a reward. He just didn’t want to be punished. He wanted to _sleep_.

“No, no, you’ll like this...”

Deceit tries to pull away again, but finds himself freezing as Patton starts to shapeshift, clothes included.

“There we-oh, woops...wrong voice...ahem..._here_ we go...”

Deceit stares in horror, seeing Patton take the form of Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^.^


	13. Fall Asleep With Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit gets his reward! ^.^

Deceit knows it isn’t Virgil. It isn’t Virgil who wraps his arms around his waist, who tells him he _missed _him. Who tells him how sweet it is that he kept so much stuff.

No, Virgil isn’t the type. Virgil would mutter something about it not being necessarily _bad _to see him again. Virgil _might_ blush at seeing the stuff he kept, but “sweet” isn’t in his vocabulary.

“What’s wrong, Dee?” Patton asks in Virgil’s voice. “Don’t you like your reward?”

Deceit shakes his head quickly, trying to look at Virgil – no, Patton! - pleadingly.

“You don’t like me?” Virgil – Patton – huffs. “So then why did you keep my old hoodie, hm?”

Deceit trembles as he’s pulled in tightly for a hug. He hates this. He hates the way he so desperately wants to be held again by Virgil, and the way Patton takes that desire and messes with it. Patton squeezes him tightly, and Deceit is thankful that shapeshifted fabric doesn’t feel like the actual thing. Because if he could really feel Virgil’s hoodie…

“Come on, Dee-Dee, relax! I know you _want _Virgil to hold you, hug you, stroke your hair...aren’t you happy I’m giving you the chance? It’s not like the _real _Virgil would ever touch you.”

Deceit finds himself starting to cry, struggling against Patton’s hold. He doesn’t want to think of Patton when around Virgil. He doesn’t want to have to think about Patton at all, but especially around Virgil.

Patton’s hand is in his hair, and he can feel the bitten down nails catch on his hair. And in some way, he loves it. He so desperately longs to be held, so desperately wants Virgil to hold him like he once held Virgil. He looks up, and for a moment he forgets it’s Patton, seeing just the soft hazel of Virgil’s eyes, the dark, smudged eyeshadow surrounding them. For a moment he whines and buries himself against the side, head far too messed with to properly think.

Patton chuckles, and it’s so _un-_Virgil that it brings Deceit back to reality.

“C’mon, Snake Face, let’s go to sleep. I’ll cuddle you and you can relax, okay?”

The words aren’t what Virgil would say, and it’s all that Deceit can do to convince himself that he’s not with Virgil.

Patton lies back on the bed, holding Deceit close to him. He hums the tune of _This Is Halloween_, just like Virgil did before he left.

All the times Deceit and Virgil shared a bed. All the times Remus joined them. All the times he didn’t.

“Virgil’s told me you two used to cuddle to sleep...” Virgil’s voice, Patton’s words, in his ear. Lips that had no right being on his now too close to his ear. “That when you fell asleep he’d stroke your cheek and whisper goodnight. Isn’t that cute?”

Deceit sobs, and any attempt previously made to stop himself crying goes out of the window. He cries and cries, being held ever closer by “Virgil”.

He clutches his head, desperate to block it all out. But then Virgil – Patton! - pulls his hands away by his sore wrists, and coos softly at him. And Deceit can’t handle it. He can’t handle his abuser taking on the form of someone he loves.

He feels himself start to dissociate, fading out even as “Virgil” hisses at him to stay focused, to stay present. And briefly he wonders if Virgil would _actually _tell him to stop dissociating. Would Virgil even care? Sure, they were friends once, but now...

He’s suddenly aware of a tongue pushing past his lips, and the dissociation stops immediately. He can feel Virgil’s tongue piercing, the cold metal against his lips. It’s only when he sobs, revealing that he’s “back” that “Virgil” pulls back.

“Don’t dissociate during your reward.” At least it’s Patton’s voice that says that. “And stop being such a baby about a kiss.”

Deceit sobs, and chooses to bury himself against “Virgil”. He’s tired, he’s sore, he’s seen his most treasured possessions get destroyed and even shoved in his mouth, and he doesn’t have it in him to keep fighting.

“There we go...just sleep, okay?” Virgil’s voice again. “Cuddle up against me and sleep. Enjoy your reward.”

Deceit cries as he forces himself to shuffle closer, and then tiredness overcomes his body, and he falls asleep to the tune of _This Is Halloween._

When he awakes, it takes him a moment to remember that it’s not really Virgil holding him. That Virgil hasn’t slept with him like this in years.

And yet he can’t seem to stop himself sighing and curling back into “Virgil’s” grip. Maybe this “reward” wasn’t so bad after all.

At least he could pretend Virgil cared about him. At least Patton hadn’t hurt him whilst wearing Virgil’s face. Sure, there was the kiss...but maybe Patton was right. It was just a kiss, and he knew for a fact that there weren’t any feelings behind it. So he should stop being a “baby” about it, right?

He laughs weakly, considering how messed up his thought process was becoming. He was meant to be strong and in control. But here, curled up against someone he hated posing as someone he loved, he simply didn’t feel it.

He’d lost his tongue, he’d lost his prized possessions, he’d even lost his first kiss.

He didn’t want to know what else he was going to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^.^ Look! He gets hugs from "Virgil"!


	14. The Therapist of Oz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Logan and Remus take Deceit to see Dr Picani!

Deceit is quiet around the others, and is relieved when Logan and Remus decide to be the ones to take him to Dr Picani. Remus could have taken him alone, sure, but Logan did love being with his strange boyfriend, so Deceit understood why he came as well.

He tries not to shudder when he sees them kiss though, instead looking away and waiting for them to continue leading the way.

_Patton’s lips. Virgil’s lips. Metal. Tongue._

He winces and prays they don’t notice, walking along the oddly coloured path. He figured Picani’s clinic would stand out compared to the rest of the medieval-esque village they’re currently in, but he still doesn’t see it.

Logan smiles at him, and he forces a smile back. He goes to trace a line beside his ear, a nervous habit of his, and then suddenly Logan has frozen.

“Deceit, why are your wrists bandaged?”

Remus pauses and looks at Deceit, who freezes himself. He can’t _tell _them that Patton tied his wrists together and he struggled until he bled. No. No, that’s humiliating. Nobody can ever know how easily Patton has been able to bring him down to nothing but tears.

_Besides, what if he punishes me again?_

He hesitates, seeing the two get closer, and motions a slicing motion across the wrist. A lie, but one he hopes they’ll take seriously. And from Logan’s wince and Remus’ wide eyes, he thinks they do.

“When did this happen?” Logan asks, and Remus inspects the bandages carefully.

“Wasn’t Pat-Pat meant to be watching you when this happened?” he asks, “these don’t look that old...”

Deceit wants to be relieved at the suspicion. But equally, he still had things he could lose. God, what if Patton destroyed Virgil’s old hoodie? What if he destroyed the snake Remus made him? And what about _him? _He’d lost his tongue and his first kiss. His first _two _kisses. Patton had threatened to cut off his hands…

He takes out his phone and shakily types out an excuse.

“_He thought I was asleep, so he slept as well. And I used the opportunity.”_

Logan breathes deeply.

“I’ll tell him he needs to check you over next time then.”

Remus offers a weak grin. “Ooh, Logan, my poisoned apple, check _me _over, would ya?”

Deceit looks away, not wanting to consider Patton checking him over. He already had Patton forcing him to change in front of him, insisting that he couldn’t look away, “just in case”. He already had Patton holding him close and stroking his scars. He didn’t want Patton to have any more excuses for hurting him.

Dr Picani was, at least, a nice enough person. Deceit wanted to dislike him and his over the top nature and his dumb cartoon references. But he was so nice and comforting that he just couldn’t.

Not that Deceit really made an effort to interact. Dr Picani was a fake therapist dealing with his fake problems. What was he meant to do, admit it was all a lie?

Besides, he swears he can feel Patton looking in. Listening. Which was ridiculous, Patton wasn’t even in the imagination, nevermind _here_.

“You know, Dee, it’s okay if you want to talk about something _other _than the reason you’re here.”

Deceit eyes Dr Picani warily, the therapist smiling at him, but with such serious eyes. Did he know, somehow? Were people in the imagination able to be more than just what they were made for? If that was the case, he almost wanted to open up to Dr Picani.

He doesn’t, of course, and in the end Dr Picani discusses physical care options.

“For communication, I suggest learning sign language,” he suggests, “however, with speech therapy and support, it is possible for people to learn to talk without their tongue.”

Deceit freezes, looking him dead in the eye, before typing out his response.

“Really?”

“Absolutely! I mean, it’s not perfect, or easy, but it could be worth looking into.”

And maybe Deceit leaves feeling a _little _more optimistic, especially when Logan promises to get group sign language classes done in the imagination as well.

“And I’ll see what we can do about the speech therapy,” Logan adds.

“I’d love to hear you talk again!” Remus grins and wraps his arms around Deceit’s waist, not noticing how the side flinches. “Your voice is so _cute! _Like honey and dead flies!”

_Cute_ .

Deceit breaks down crying, and neither of them understand why.

“You need to check Deceit over in the mornings and before bed,” Logan tells Patton, “in case he’s hurt himself again.”

D eceit can  _see _ the irritation in Patton’s eyes as Logan critiques his “care”.  But Patton is good at hiding it, apologising profusely and promising  to check Deceit in the future.

“Thank you, Patton...” Logan smiles. “We appreciate this. If ever you need a break though, let us know. One of us will switch in with you.”

Patton smiles back, nodding and saying he’ll remember that. And yet as soon as Logan leaves, it’s back to anger, hissing about how  _dare _ Logan tell him what to do.

“This is your fault,” he snaps at Deceit, “you come in, you make a few changes to the power order, and now Logan thinks he has more control than he deserves.”

Deceit shrinks back, preparing to get hurt, but strangely, Patton doesn’t do anything.

“However, I was glad you didn’t spill anything to Dr Picani...don’t give me that look. Did you really think I _wouldn’t _take measures to spy on you?”

Deceit winces, and Patton chuckles, hugging him gently for a moment.

“I’m glad you didn’t let them think I hurt you. You listened really well to me,” Patton admits, “maybe I should reward you for keeping our secret...”

Deceit’s mind flashes back to Virgil’s lips on his, to waking up pressed against a fake friend. He shakes his head quickly, but Patton just laughs.

“Oh, come on. It’ll be good! I know how much you want affection from Virgil again...or would you rather someone else?”

He keeps shaking his head as Patton shapeshifts into Roman, struggles and tries to pull away as “Roman” pulls him close, hands on his hips and lips at his ear.

“If emo isn’t your type, how’s a prince?” And it’s _Roman’s _voice.

Deceit shakes his head, fighting back more, struggling against Patton’s hold.

“No? No prince? How about...a duke?” It’s Remus’ voice, and Deceit starts crying.

“Ah yes, let’s keep _dukey _up then...” Patton pulls back, forcing Deceit’s head around to look him in the eyes.

Remus always had such pretty eyes.

“Come on, Dee-Dee, I’m offering to be _nice _to you!” Deceit has to remind himself that it’s Patton speaking. “I could hug you or hold you or...”

Deceit shrinks away at the finger that trails his lips.

“I heard Remus knew your tongue by the taste,” Patton murmurs, in his voice again, holding Deceit tightly by his injured wrists in one hand, “I did have many questions about that...I didn’t think you two were a _thing_.”

Deceit whimpers, struggling hard despite the pain in his wrists.

“Were you?”

He shakes his head, honestly. And he swears he hears Patton sigh with relief. And then Remus’ voice is in his ear, Patton leaning in close again.

“Would you _like _to be, I wonder?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^.^ So I'm away on holiday for about a week, so I won't be able to update, but I'm gonna schedule updates on tumblr if you're curious!  
@sometimesiwriteangst


	15. Word Dissociation Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit learns to prefer his rewards.

D eceit decide d that night that it’s better to be rewarded than be punished.

_Patton presses his lips against his, tongue pushing in, and Deceit can feel the ruffles of Remus’ outfit against his skin as he’s pushed down against the bed. He struggles even as Patton repeatedly deepens the kiss. He sobs and finally lashes out, shoving Patton away as hard as he can manage._

He wakes up in the morning with his mouth and throat an injured and  bloody mes s,  Patton as his usual self curled up against him and fast asleep.  He sniffs and  pulls a blanket over himself, not wanting to acknowledge the dried blood speckled across his torso.

“_Fine, you don’t want a reward?” Remus’ voice has never sounded so harsh. “Then take a punishment instead, see if I care.”_

Deceit can still feel ash in his mouth, and he sobs weakly at the reminder that he’s lost another item close to his heart. He wasn’t willing to lose anything else. No. No, he had so little left. He wouldn’t have anything else burnt.

_Deceit struggles hopelessly as “Remus” forces the ashes down his throat, followed by glass shards. He tries not to cry even harder as Patton tapes his mouth shut and ties his wrists to the bed. And then Patton just watches as Deceit fights the urge to swallow, terrified of swallowing the broken shards._

Patton yawns as he wakes up, and Deceit forces himself to choke back the next sob. Instead he hesitantly shuffles up against Patton, hoping to appease him so that the side wakes up in a good mood. And sure enough, Patton smiles at him, pulling him close and squeezing tightly.

“Good morning! I’m glad you’re being better behaved today!”

Deceit nods slightly, and sighs as Patton opens his mouth and strokes the scar. He winces as Patton’s nails dig into the fresh wounds, but lets Patton continue regardless. Anything to avoid the punishment.

_Patton slaps him repeatedly, watching as Deceit chokes and tries not to gag on the glass. Deceit can feel the back of his throat get ripped apart, can feel blood mix with ash in his mouth. Can see Patton’s smirk through his tears._

“_Don’t swallow, Dee~” Patton laughs. “I don’t think that would feel very good.”_

“So, I’m thinking, today we should make sure you get a shower, and I’ll check you over for _injuries _whilst we’re at it...and then perhaps we should see if the twins would take us into the imagination for a bit? I’m sure you’d _love _to see Remus.”

Remus’ lips against his. Remus watching him choke. Remus dragging his nails down his torso.

Deceit whimpers, and Patton laughs, just as brightly as he did the night before.

They don’t get a chance to go to the imagination, and Deceit wants to be thankful, but instead they’re all taken up to see Thomas. And Thomas looks somewhere between depressed and frustrated.

Patton looks him in the eye for a moment, a silent reminder that he has to behave, or else. And as much as he hates to admit it, he’s willing to.

“What’s wrong?” Roman asks Thomas, “you seem...blue!”

“Falsehood, he’s merely rather pale.”

“It’s a figure of speech.”

“Guys, please.” They turn to Thomas. “I...I need to know what’s going on. I’m so...tired, and in pain, and I feel like shit, and for some reason I’ve made up my mind to visit Aunt Patty..._why?”_

Thomas and Deceit don’t miss the way everyone glances at Deceit for a moment. And Deceit wants to protest, because it isn’t _him _doing anything. But equally, he doesn’t want to get hurt. So he stays quiet, and debates on how to answer Thomas’ questions.

“Why are they looking at you?”  
Deceit hesitates, and sighs before walking over and opening his mouth, unhinging it at the snake-like jaw so Thomas can see properly. And Thomas _screams._

Thomas screams, and Deceit starts crying. He shuts his mouth firmly, and suddenly notices that everyone is staring at him. That he showed the injuries.

Patton suddenly starts screaming and sobbing.

“When did you do _that?_” the side starts crying harder, “Dee, I thought – you were fine this morning!!”

Virgil is pulling Patton close against him, and Thomas is busy freaking out over the injuries _and _the missing tongue. Remus goes to hug Deceit, and that just makes Deceit freak out as well.

It’s a mess.

Logan calms everyone down, with difficulty, and carefully explains the situation to Thomas. Or, what Logan believes the situation to be.

Deceit starts to dissociate again.


	16. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author apologises for the creepiness, but reassures you that Patton does get creepier.

“...Should see Dr Picani today.”

“I know he hurt himself bad, but he insisted he didn’t want to see him! He seemed upset last night over it!”

“Even more reason _to _see a professional.”

Deceit comes to with Virgil and Thomas curled up against him, Thomas fast asleep, Virgil less so. Roman and Remus are trying to calm down Logan and Patton, who appear to be deep in an argument.

“I know the mouth was bad, but if seeing Dr Picani is upsetting him-”

“Patton, do you _actually _care about his mental health or not? Because-”

Deceit lets himself dissociate _again_, not caring to stick around whilst Logan makes Patton angrier.

Patton is furious over not getting his way, and only Deceit seems to notice. Maybe it’s because Patton keeps the facade of being happy up when he finally loses, acts cheerful when Deceit is taken to see Dr Picani, and keeps up the act all the way until they’re alone. But maybe it’s because only Deceit recognises the anger in his dark eyes. Maybe he’s the only one who _knows _it’s anger.

“This is your fault,” Patton snarls at him when they’re alone again. “First _you _take my control away, and now _Logan _does. I can’t cut _his _tongue out, everyone will realise what’s going on...”

Patton is destroying Deceit’s books as he rambles, tearing out pages as he goes. None of them are sentimental, so Deceit ignores it as best as he can. Besides, he’s too busy remembering Thomas’ screaming, the way Thomas cried upon waking up…

“-I’ll deal with him. I’ll sort him out...hm...give me time, I’ll make him understand. _I’m _the one who controls the mindscape...”

Deceit nods, mostly just to go along with it. He was starting to think this really _was _all his fault. He upset Patton. He made Patton angry. And now everything was going to shit because of it. Thomas had cried. Virgil had done his best to comfort them both, but…

_Virgil places a hand on Deceit’s shoulder, and all Deceit can think of is Patton._

He sighs and watches as Patton flops down beside him on the bed.

“Comfort me, Dee.” Deceit raises an eyebrow. “Comfort me! Come on...come sit on my lap and give me kisses.”

Deceit goes to shake his head, but he remembers his punishment. The ash, the glass. Remus’ eyes looking at him with such calculated cruelty that they _couldn’t _belong to Remus. And instead he nods weakly, watching as Patton gets comfy, lying in the middle of his bed.

“Okay! I’m good! Now, come and kiss me, and _maybe _I’ll reward you.”

Deceit carefully moves, ignoring the offer of a reward and focusing on the fact that he _really _doesn’t want to be punished. He straddles Patton gently, shaking just a little, and looks down, hoping Patton will lean up, sit up, anything that makes it easier on Deceit.

“Come on...Logan being a jerk is making me sad...”

Deceit hesitates before leaning down and kissing him, flinching when Patton eagerly kisses him back.

“Even without a tongue, you’re a good kisser! How much practice have you had?”

Deceit shakes his head, feeling his arms snake around his waist, keeping him locked in with little room to move away.

“None? Oh, well then...”

Patton shifts into Roman.

“Let’s give you some practice! This way you’ll be ready for _whoever_ wants to kiss you~”

(And if Deceit’s lips hurt and sting after it all, he doesn’t dare complain.)


	17. I Can't Tell You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dr Picani knows something is up.

Dr Emile Picani knows that Deceit isn’t a self harmer. He may not be real, but he knows his role as a therapist like the back of his hand. He knows all the signs, even if he never officially learned them. And so he knows from the first session that Deceit is not, has never been, a self harmer.

It’s only during the third session that he brings it up, knowing that in the few days since the first session Deceit has only been getting more on edge. And today he’s forgotten his hat, which strikes Emile as being a bit odd. Deceit doesn’t seem the type to do that.

“You know,” Emile says finally, “you can tell me the truth. I won’t get cross with you.”

Deceit raises an eyebrow, and he’s quick to type out a response.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Emile has known Deceit properly for a week. And yet he knows for a fact that Deceit is lying. And although he debates with himself over it, he decides to just say.

“I know that you didn’t do this to yourself,” he says gently, and Deceit looks like a rabbit in a headlight.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

The line plays on repeat, the cold, robotic voice echoing in his office.

“I won’t push it,” he says quickly, “I’m just letting you know. You did that no more than Zuko burnt his own face. And I will listen to you.”

Deceit doesn’t respond, but he does start crying. He cries and he cries, until finally he’s typing something out, the cold disjointed voice speaking again.

“I can’t tell you about it.”

And it repeats.

“I can’t tell you about it.”

“I can’t tell you about it.”

Logan is confused and concerned by Deceit’s tears when the side leaves Dr Picani’s office. He supposes it’s probably due to whatever they discussed, and he supposes he should be happy that Deceit got it out of his system, so to speak.

But he’s still worried.

So he knocks on the door, walking in and asking Dr Picani outright about whether Deceit is okay. And yes, he feels odd talking to a Figment of the Imagination, but Dr Picani had always been a lot more human than most Figments…

So when Dr Picani hesitates, something soft and sad in his eyes, it hurts his heart.

“I can’t really tell you, because of doctor-patient confidentiality,” Dr Picani admits, “but...I do think you should keep a close eye on him.”

So of course Logan passes the message onto Patton.

And Patton tries to keep up the facade of being concerned, of caring for Deceit. And maybe he did a little, in the same way a boxer loves their punching bag.

But mostly, he was pissed.

He had been so careful about placing the tiny hidden camera in Deceit’s hat, just to keep an eye out for what Deceit may say to others. And it’d worked brilliantly the last two appointments! But no, this time Deceit just had to forget his damn hat.

And run his mouth, from the sounds of it.

So of course his hands are around Deceit’s throat once they’re alone. And of course he demands Deceit to tell him the truth, to tell him what he said.

Deceit desperately tries to type out his answers, but Patton doesn’t _care _any more.

“I told you, _nobody _can know I did this,” he hisses, “every time _you _slip up, it messes things up for _everyone_. Do you not see what a _stupid failure _you are?”

Deceit hugs Virgil’s hoodie to his chest later, the only thing besides his clothes that Patton hadn’t ruined yet.

Deceit pulls bits of glass from the roof of his mouth, and for a moment he considers cutting his wrists with one of the longer shards.

Could he bleed out and die?

He doesn’t think so.

He sighs.

What a shame.


	18. Disguises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton wins a battle.

Patton didn’t like having to take Deceit to sign language classes. He doesn’t like taking Deceit to speech therapy. He doesn’t like how Deceit comes out desperately trying to say the letter “o”. Or how happy he looks doing it.

“Yes, fantastic, you speak like a freak,” Patton snaps, and Deceit flinches.

The twins were initially going to be the ones to take Deceit to his appointments that day, but Thomas was home from visiting his aunt, and had been in need of support. So Logan had suggested that Patton take Deceit. That Roman and _Remus _do the comforting.

Logan was getting on Patton’s last nerve. One more attempt to take control from Patton, and Patton might just have to do something.

“I want to see Dr Picani as well.”

Patton grabs the phone from Deceit, going to delete the damn app. He was fed up of hearing the voice. He had risked a lot to keep Deceit from talking, from lying, from snatching away control. And now he had a mechanical voice to do it all for him.

Patton hated Logan almost as much as Patton hated Deceit.

But perhaps he could get Deceit to stop seeing Dr Picani…

He breathes deeply, and slowly hands the phone back to Deceit, who takes it anxiously.

“Alright. Fine. Let’s go.”

Patton had to wonder why he never thought to do this beforehand. Dr Picani wasn’t in the office today – did a Figment even have regular office hours? So it was a perfect time to shape shift and pretend to be the therapist.

Deceit had looked so relieved when Patton “left”, and he now looked forwards to ensuring the side didn’t try to tell much more to the therapist. It was like a game. Pretend to be Dr Emile Picani, and if Deceit believed him, then he _won_.

“So, what should we discuss today?” Patton keeps his voice bright and cheerful, as light as the therapist himself.

“I wanted to tell you a bit about my speech therapy session.”

Patton hates that voice so much, but he forces himself to stay looking happy.

“Oh? Go on!”

And Deceit is typing out eagerly about how he thinks he might be able to recover. About feeling hope, about how thinking of speaking again makes him feel optimistic. About how he misses his voice and today he could almost say the letter “o”.

Patton hates it. He hates how _happy _Deceit is over it all. And after a while Deceit seems to notice, because he stops typing and looks at him with concern.

“You know, Dee,” Patton says, trying to sound exasperated, “you need to stop fixating on the tongue.”

Deceit looks like he’s been hit, and Patton forces himself not to grin.

“You’re here to discuss your mental health problems, but all you do is complain about the tongue! I just…feel like you might be overreacting.”

And Patton knows Deceit can’t tell what parts are lies and what are truths.

When Deceit starts crying, he thinks he’s won.

Patton “meets” Deceit outside the clinic.

“So? How was it?” he asks, pretending not to know.

When Deceit doesn’t meet his eyes, he _knows _he’s won. So he chuckles, brings Deceit’s head back, and kisses him roughly without care for Deceit’s comfort.

“Don’t worry. Let’s go to my room tonight. I’ll reward you for being so well behaved, alright? Who do you want me to be? Remus again? Logan?”

He sees tears pooling in Deceit’s eyes and beams.

“Yes, Logan it is.”


	19. Accidents Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit visits the real Picani.

Logan doesn’t understand _why _Deceit is so reluctant to visit Dr Picani. Patton had said it seemed to go fine the time before. A bit emotional, apparently, but not _bad_.

“Therapy makes people nervous,” Virgil mutters when he brings it up, “Dee’s just…being anxious, I guess.”

And Logan had to admit, Virgil would know.

Virgil, meanwhile, wasn’t so sure. Deceit had been acting odd as of late. But not _mentally ill _odd. It was more of a…”being hurt” odd. It reminded Virgil of when they were younger, in their late teens, and all the dark sides had were each other.

It reminded Virgil of how Patton begged him to join the light sides. How Patton twisted his words until he agreed to join. How Patton-

No, no, he wasn’t going to go down that train of thought. Patton had only been trying to help him. If it weren’t for Deceit acting so odd as of late, he wouldn’t even be thinking about it.

“Hey, Dee.” Speaking of. “Ready to go see Dr Picani?”

Deceit is clearly unconvinced, but Virgil insists. And Virgil knows Deceit can’t say no to him for long. They were like brothers, in a way. Brothers and best friends. Who also had some major communication issues going on between them. Something like that.

So they get going, and maybe Deceit is a bit tenser than usual. Maybe Virgil can see bruises by his throat. Maybe Virgil can see the way he whimpers when Virgil gets too close. Maybe everything in him screams that something is _wrong_.

And maybe Virgil is too afraid to speak up.

Just like before.

“So! How are you feeling today?”

Deceit narrows his eyes at Dr Picani, and takes out his phone.

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

There’s hurt in the therapists eyes, and Deceit doesn’t understand it.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“You know what’s wrong.”

“I really don’t.”

Deceit makes as close to a growl as he can manage without straining his throat. He attacks his phone angrily as he types out his next sentence.

“Please, it’s not like Patton does this just as much. I swallowed glass and he acted like he didn’t know why I was coughing up blood. Don’t pull this shit on me as well.”

The words contrast with the monotone voice, and Dr Picani feels true horror for the first time.

Logan is waiting for Deceit when he leaves, and goes to hug or touch Deceit in some way. Deceit, of course, shrugs him away, walking off. He’s stopped by Logan insisting he needs to wait, especially when Dr Picani comes out and asks to speak to Logan.

“Of course you may. Deceit, wait here for me.”

Deceit sighs, and reluctantly waits as Logan follows Dr Picani into his office.

“What is it?”

“I know I said I couldn’t say anything – but this is – I can’t, when there’s a side…”

“Dr Picani, what are you talking about?”

“Logan, Patton is hurting Deceit.”

There’s a pause, and then Logan smirks.

He slowly shifts back to Patton, grinning and resuming in his usual voice.

“Oh? Are you _sure_, doctor?”

Deceit thinks he hears a scream, but he could just be on edge. Besides, Logan returns, assuring him that Dr Picani was just letting him know he felt their sessions should end.

“Now…let’s go back to your room, shall we?”

(Deceit doesn’t notice the blood seeping out from under the door.)


	20. Why, Logan, Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton finally gets fed up with Logan.

Patton was quite pleased with himself.

Deceit was agreeing with everything he said, if only out of fear for his punishments. And he was accepting his rewards, which was good. He’d even stopped trying to talk and learn sign language. No, instead the side was clinging to Patton as much as possible.

Patton asked in private. Deceit had reluctantly told him he didn’t trust the others not to be Patton shape-shifting anymore. And gosh Patton was happy to hear that!

He was able to find decent stress relief in Deceit, and could let out all his more _immoral _thoughts on the dear doctor.

Now if only Logan would stop arguing with him.

“Deceit has to go to his appointment,” Logan snaps.

Behind him, Remus nods, taking Logan’s side because of _course _he would. The two were so in love that it sickened Patton.

“He doesn’t want to!” Patton argues, “I’m just trying to be supportive!”

Their arguments lasted hours at times. Hisses across the table, insults hurled across the room, shouting and slammed doors.

Thomas begged them to stop arguing, and Patton made a big pretense of trying, of how _Logan _was the issue. And then it got worse.

“I think Remus should look after Deceit.”

Everyone pauses, looking at Logan, then at Remus, who grins.

“He knows Deceit well,” Logan explains, “they get along. And I feel he’d be a more competent caretaker than Patton.”

And that, as far as Deceit was concerned, was when shit hit the fan, so to speak.

With no real conclusion to that argument, Patton had half dragged Deceit back to his bedroom. Virgil had glanced at him guiltily, and if Deceit could speak he would have yelled at Virgil. Told him not to be a coward, to speak up, to _do _something.

But then again, he had given in to Patton. So maybe he couldn’t talk. Well, he _literally _couldn’t talk.

“Stupid Logan, stupid Remus, they’re all _stupid_,” hisses Patton.

Deceit nods, going along with Patton’s rant. Maybe he’d get cuddles whilst he slept if he-no, no, he _didn’t _want that. What was he thinking?

“That’s the final straw. They can’t try to take my control away. If you can’t, then they can’t,” Patton snarls, and breathes deeply, “how to hurt them best…”

Deceit bites his lip, deeply uncomfortable with this. He was willing to give in to Patton’s demands, sure, but listening to the side discussing how to hurt his friends? That was something else.

“I know…let’s kill two birds with one stone…” He watches as Patton grins widely. “We’ll kidnap Remus, make some excuse…and we’ll use him to get to Logan…”

Deceit frowns at the use of “we”. He wasn’t going to help. He refused.

“In fact…we could put you and Remus together…claim he’s taken you to the Imagination for proper care…I bet with decent threats, Logan would agree to say so as well…”

Deceit takes out his phone, and types quickly.

“You can’t do that. I won’t let you.”

Patton pauses at the distorted voice, and turns to Deceit, tilting his head.

“Oh really?” He smirks. “I was going to have you lure Remus here for me. I know you’ll do anything for me. Right?”

Deceit hesitates, then shakes his head.

“No. This is sick, I refuse to take part.”

Patton tuts, getting closer, pushing Deceit down against the bed, leaning in…

“If you say no, I’ll punish you until you agree,” he says, voice low, “if you say yes, we can give you a _very nice _reward. What do you say?”

Deceit’s heart only beats faster, threatening to burst out of his chest. He can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything. Patton cups his cheek gently, leans in and presses a kiss to his lips.

“Will you help me?” Patton asks sweetly.

Deceit hesitates.

And then shakes his head.


	21. Fire Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author had to edit this down to make it less horrific, and thinks you’re all still going to flip-

Deceit is stretched out on the bed, shirtless and tied to the bedposts. Patton had so _lovingly _dressed him in Virgil’s hoodie first, of course. And he was glad, because every time blood had soaked into it, Deceit had cried harder.

The snake-like side had been resisting so far, refusing to give in when asked. And Patton could only do so much to the side without the others noticing.

His torso was a bloody mess, but Patton could do _more_.

Patton glances at the hoodie – 20 years worth of memories – on a shaking Deceit. Blood stained and ripped, the side was clearly struggling.

“How’s your pain tolerance doing?” Patton asks, pouring something onto the hoodie.

Deceit can’t breathe. It’s too much. He doesn’t know what Patton’s doing, but he knows it isn’t good. He can’t even give in without Patton asking if he will. He struggles weakly, his ankles and wrists bleeding from his earlier struggles.

“You know, you’d look nice in this,” Patton says, carding his fingers through his hair, “if you’d said yes earlier, I’d have let you wear it, I think.”

Deceit sniffs slightly, and Patton gets up, going out of sight for a moment.

“By the way, I love candles…this one is…lavender! It’s so nice, can you smell it?”

Deceit can, and he’s suddenly even more afraid. He didn’t think that would be possible. But it is. He watches Patton walk back, holding the lit candle. It smells so nice…

And then Patton drops it onto the hoodie.

Deceit thinks he starts screaming because of how close the fire is to him.

He continues screaming when he smells the fabric burning. Every fond memory of Virgil wearing it, curled up against him, laughing at Remus, playing monopoly, cooking, just _being…_

And then he’s screaming louder, vocal chords straining, as the fire starts to eat away at his skin. Down his arms, down his torso…

He thrashes as hard as he can, and sees how the fire spreads to the bedsheets beneath him. If he could think rationally, he’d be worried he was going to die.

Just as he feels the fire grab at his hand, there’s a bucket of cold water thrown over him, putting out the fire.

Patton says something, but Deceit doesn’t hear it. He’s only aware of pain and vague numbness over his chest and upper arms.

Then suddenly Patton unties him and pulls him upright, hissing in his ear, “will you help me kidnap Remus _now?_”

Deceit sobs, and yet shakes his head. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. He had lost everything, but he just _couldn’t_. He couldn’t subject Remus to this.

Patton sighs, and suddenly Deceit feels the hoodie get ripped off him. He screams again as parts of his burnt skin pull off with it, and cries as Patton presses his fingers against the raw flesh.

“Will you help me kidnap Remus now?”

Deceit sobs, glancing at the hoodie.

Burnt, a layer of ash. Ruined. Pieces of Deceit’s mangled skin half glued to the inner fabric. It was barely hanging together.

Patton digs his nails in, and Deceit sniffs. What was the point of standing up to Patton? He’d lost everything, including _large patches of his skin. _If he said no, he’d get hurt more and more until there was nothing left of him.

Yes. If he kept saying no, Patton was going to break him, turn him into nothing more than a mindless robot, programmed to obey.

He couldn’t.

He had to.

He…

“Well?”

He nods.

“Good boy…”

He lets Patton lift his head, lets him grip him by the burnt areas of his skin, and lets him kiss him.

“Let’s get you all patched up now,” Patton murmurs, “and then I’ll give you a nice reward for giving in, even if it took a while…”

And Deceit just nods weakly, too tired and in pain to argue even if he could.

Patton has won another battle, and they both know it.


	22. Figment of Patton's Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emile Picani makes a return!

Patton didn’t think hurting people would be so addicting. So thrilling. He was limited with Deceit, of course, because he couldn’t attract _too _much attention. And with his plans about to set in motion with Logan and Remus, he had to be even more careful.

Which was why it was nice to see Emile Picani in the Subconscious whilst Deceit slept.

Emile looks up at him for a moment, then looks aside. Patton liked his resilience. It was fun to see how much he could take each “session”.

“How’s the teeth?” Patton asks, referring to the other night when he’d ripped out Emile’s wisdom teeth.

“Just fine,” Emile spits, despite the obvious swelling in his jaw.

“Oh good! Then you’re all ready for today’s session?” Patton walks over, lifting Emile’s head almost tenderly, “I’m in a _good _mood today, you see! Dee finally caved in and is going to help me hurt Remus and Logan!”

Emile tries to pull away, but he was chained in such an awkward position that he simply couldn’t. He refused to believe Deceit had given in. That was…unthinkable, surely? But then again, Deceit had been pretty out of it…

He winces as Patton kisses him, too slow and too tender. It wasn’t _right_. Even as a Figment, he had the right to want his kisses to be from someone he loved.

“What’s this obsession with kissing?” he asks weakly as Patton pulls away. “You’re more obsessed than-”

He coughs before he can finish his cartoon comparison. Talking hurt. He could feel the gaping wounds where his teeth had been. He can see Patton smirking as he coughs, and it only makes him angrier.

“Simple! Same reason as I do it to my _dear _Deceit!” he grins. “You two take kisses so seriously. Waiting for someone nice and romantic to come and kiss you, sweep you off your feet, all that nonsense. So I took your first kisses, and now I have fun watching you squirm and break.”

“But…what about…you and kisses?” Emile asks weakly. He just wanted to _get it_. He wanted to understand the thinking.

“I don’t care,” Patton says honestly, “a kiss is just two people touching. But don’t worry. Unlike Dee, I plan on making sure _you _learn to enjoy my kisses. After all, who else would kiss a Figment? You should be thankful.”

Emile snarls, wishing Patton would go jump off a cliff. He winces from the jaw movements, and Patton laughs.

“Come on, doctor, we’ve not even started yet! I wanted to leave a reminder of myself on you today!”

Emile tries to move away, and sees Patton take out a pyrography kit. A long thin instrument with a red handle, designed to engrave wood. Hot. Hot enough that Emile was afraid.

Patton hums, waits for it to heat up, and then walks back over.

“Now, let’s see if Deceit was worth this…shall we put this on your thigh? That way, you’ll see it whenever you look down!”

Emile struggles as best as he can, but Patton rips a large hole in his pants and gets to work.

Emile refuses to scream.

Emile is trembling by the end. He’s bleeding more, his lip is almost bitten through in his attempts to not scream. And he has Patton’s name branded deep into his thigh. A beautiful and elegant script-like handwriting.

And Patton is eager to coo over it. Say how good it looks. That it shows Emile is _his. _His to hurt, his to do whatever he wants with. His own Figment to act as a plaything.

“I can’t hurt the sides like I can with you,” Patton tells him, kissing him slowly, “but nobody’s even noticed that you’re missing! I can do whatever I like, whenever I like, and all _you _can do is take it.”

Emile tries not to cry, but he can feel tears welling up in his eyes. And then Patton leans in to his ear to whisper.

“Just don’t let me get bored. If I get bored with my toy, even a pretty one like you, I might have to…throw you away. Understand?”

Emile glances aside, and Patton chuckles.

“Just saying. Now…one last kiss before I go, okay?”

Emile hates how gentle the kiss is, the way the taste of sugar stays on his lips, the way Patton puts effort into making it…_nice_.

He refused. He refused to let Patton’s mind games get the best of him.

After Patton leaves, Emile hangs his head and stares at the burnt skin, the way Patton’s name is so neatly and clearly engraved into him.

“I’m not…yours…” he croaks out.

He doesn’t think he believes himself.

He just hoped Deceit was managing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally caught up with tumblr!!


	23. A Few Of Patton's Favourite Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit kidnaps Remus, and Patton starts having fun.

Deceit can’t believe he’s doing this. Meekly asking Remus – in front of the others – to take him to an appointment with Dr Picani.

“Ah, Pat, so you’re letting Remus take care of him?” Roman asks, smiling slightly at the moral side.

“Dee insisted,” Patton lies, smiling back.

Deceit’s heart feels heavy like this, following Remus into the Imagination. The side is clearly so happy to be with him, so happy he’s...co-operating.

“I was getting worried about ya, Snake Face!” Remus grins and hugs Deceit tightly, “I-”

He pauses as Deceit whimpers and sobs, the hug digging into the bandaged raw flesh. Even as Remus pulls away, he can feel the pressure, feel the way his arms dug into the burns.

“Dee? What’s wrong?”

Deceit hesitates. He knows what Patton wants him to do next. He knows what’s expected of him.

_Don’t do it._

_We have to._

_Remus doesn’t deserve this!_

_Things will only get worse if we don’t!_

He groans slightly, breathing deeply. He didn’t want to. He wanted to go back to his room and...and what? He had nothing left. Patton had destroyed his things, removed his tongue, burnt the majority of his torso. And nobody had even _noticed _when he’d _screamed_ throughout that last bit of torture.

“_Oh, they noticed,” Patton had told him ever so sweetly, “they just don’t care. They think you deserve it.”_

Patton’s voice had tasted like lies. His lips had tasted like lies. Deceit didn’t want to keep doing this.

“Dee-Dee, what’s eating at you? Maggots?”

Deceit laughs slightly. Ah, yes, maggots. He’d been punished with _those_ too. Pushed into fresh and healing wounds alike.

He takes out his phone and types out his message shakily, guilt tearing at him with each letter.

“Sorry about this. I swear I don’t want to.”

And he knocks Remus out with a perfectly aimed hit to the side of the head.

Deceit hadn’t expected it to work. But Patton seemed to know his fair share of these things. He felt he should be concerned about Patton’s level of knowledge.

Or his own willingness to go along with this.

He sighs, removing his gloves, pulling up his sleeve and digging his nails into one of the bandaged burns. It hurts, it stings, he can feel himself start to cry.

But he deserved it.

Logan returns to his room to see Deceit sat on his bed, a piece of duct tape wrapped over his mouth. The side looked distressed, which was worrying, but Logan wasn’t going to jump to conclusions.

“Why do you have this over you...” Logan gently peels it off Deceit, and the side coughs, throwing himself forwards until a slightly damp piece of paper falls out, along with something wrapped in gift wrap.

“...Really? You’re teaming up with Remus now?” Logan smiles and picks up both bits. He was used to Remus sending him odd gifts in odd ways.

He opens up the paper, expecting to see Remus’ usual scrawl. Instead, it’s the familiar neat script of Patton.

_Dearest Logan!_

_Recently you’ve been really getting me down! Always taking control off me, trying to tell me what to do...so here’s how it’s going to work!_

_I have Remus locked away somewhere. And he’ll be safe for as long as you listen to me and what I have to say, alright?_

_Please come see me in my room so we can discuss the finer details, ‘kay?_

_Yours, Patton~_

_PS. In case you don’t believe me, check the gift ;)_

Logan pauses. He re-reads it. He laughs slightly.

“I don’t think this is as humorous as intended,” he says quietly, and watches the way Deceit shrinks back.

There’s a pause, then Deceit gingerly takes out his phone and types something out slowly.

“If I leave before you check the gift, I’ll be punished.”

Logan frowns, then looks at the so-called gift.

“What is it?”

“If I leave before you check the gift-”

“What is it, Deceit?”

“-I’ll be punished.”

Logan breathes deeply, trying to remain calm, and picks up the soggy gift. He opens it carefully, and something solid yet squishy falls out onto his hand.

A thumb.

A thumb with cracked and peeling green nail polish.

He stares, then grabs Deceit’s hands, ripping off the gloves.

Deceit’s thumbs were there.

He takes a deep breath again, and doesn’t even notice how Deceit whimpers, how his fingers dig tightly into bruised and bleeding wrists. He doesn’t care either. He _knew _something was going on with Patton. And now look.

He had to breathe.

He had to stay calm.

He had to…

Deceit whimpers louder, and Logan lets go of his wrists before storming out.

He was going to _kill _Patton.

Meanwhile, Patton hums as he walks over to Emile, smiling at how the Figment makes an attempt to move away.

“Did you miss me?” Patton asks, smirking and waving a bread roll in the air, “if you say yes, I’ll feed you. I know Figments need to eat.”

Emile ignores him, and tries not to acknowledge the hunger when Patton chucks the roll away.

“That’s fine. Come on, my dear little Figment. Today I’m going to make you ask for a kiss!”

Emile doesn’t have to respond for Patton to know what his answer would be. But Patton liked the excitement of breaking him down.

“If you do, I’ll feed you,” he says simply, “and if you don’t, I’ll do this.”

He grabs Emile’s hand, and snaps one of his fingers back, a painful crack echoing around the room as Emile cries out. He winces when Patton flicks the broken finger, but refuses to ask nonetheless.

“No? Alright. You have ten fingers...”

Patton yanks hard on the joints of the next one, and even though Emile tries not to scream, he still yells out again. When he refuses once more, Patton snaps the next, bending it back and hitting it against the metal chains briefly. Emile doesn’t _want _to give in, but he can feel the burn of the breaks and he doesn’t know why he’s putting himself through it.

Emile is sobbing and shaking by the time one hand is out of use. Each finger painfully cracked and twisted, swelling up and throbbing.

“Alright! Alright, please, kiss me!” he begs, sobbing, “please, my fingers – I need them – please...”

He hears Patton chuckle, and then he feels a finger on his other hand get broken.

“One moment. Let me finish these. But don’t worry, I’ll be quicker with these. Next time, ask me before I start, okay?”

Emile sobs through the last four fingers, and almost eagerly accepts the kiss offered him. Anything to stop tonight’s pain.

He knew it would all start again tomorrow night, but at least for now it was over.

“Ask me again,” taunts Patton.

Emile hates how he gives in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUN


	24. Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton visits Remus, and Roman talks to Virgil about how obviously suspicious Patton is.

Remus was going to murder Deceit. Or, he wasn’t. He was going to murder _Patton_. But Deceit was on thin ice, kidnapping him like this.

He knows he’s somewhere in the Subconscious. A ridiculous place that was close to a maze. Tunnels and passageways, winding and turning, no end in sight. A thousand rooms, all impossible to teleport or summon in.

The Subconscious was what Virgil used to claim Thomas would put them in if they didn’t do their jobs. A dull scary story that Deceit was always quick to shut down.

And now he’s chained up somewhere, and missing the thumb from his right hand.

“That’s fine!” he says aloud to himself, “it’s only my right hand! Who cares, I can still write and paint and create and _damn _that didn’t rhyme, did it...”

He can see Deceit stood in the corner of the room, looking...broken. He was furious that Deceit had helped bring him here, but the side looked so dull, so lifeless, that he just couldn’t hate him for it.

And then Patton walks in, looking far too cheerful.

“Well done for watching him, Dee-Dee!” the side says, hugging the mute side tightly. So tight that Remus hears something crack, sees Deceit flinch.

“Oh look what turned up,” he mutters, “come on, our sweet Morality, how long are you going to keep this up for?”

Patton smiles sweetly.

“For as long as I need!” he grins wide. “See, Roman and Virgil believe you’re helping Dee here with _residential care_. And so long as Logan backs me up, Thomas is sure to believe that!”

Remus scoffs, rolling his eyes. He wonders what it’d be like to literally roll his eyes, but forces himself back on track.

“Ah fuck you. Thomas is going to notice Deceit and I are absent, and no amount of your bullshit will change that. And! And! My brother will call you out! Give the dumbass time.”

Patton seems to ignore him, putting down a bag, and taking out a pair of heavy wire cutters.

“Hey, Dee, do you think this will work to remove his other thumb?”

Deceit, to his credit, freezes up. Instead of answering, he looks at Remus with something wild in his eyes. Fear, perhaps. Helplessness, perhaps.

Remus sees Patton walk over, struggles to move his hand away. He didn’t know _how _Patton was able to do so much damage, so much _permanent _damage, but he wasn’t losing both his thumbs.

“See, if Logan hadn’t argued with me last night, I wouldn’t have to do this!” Patton grins and carefully places the wire cutters to the base of Remus’ thumb.

The side tries to move away, but the chains are done well. Too well. His heart races and pounds as the metal digs into his thumb. The ache becomes a sharp sting as it breaks the skin.

“Please, don’t!” Remus finds himself yelling, suddenly fearing losing such important digits, “c’mon, this isn’t funny anymore!”

“Oh, but it is to me!” Patton smirks, tightening the grip of the cutters, watching blood trickle down as Remus winces. “I believe you once said that our thumbs are what separates us from most animals, right? You have _definitely _mentioned this before!”

Deeper into his thumb. Flesh forcefully pulled apart. Deeper into the raw skin. Nerves going numb.

“It fits that you’ll be closer to an animal this way. You always were...well, _animalistic_, shall we say?”

“Patton!” Remus struggles more, “come on, stop! Stop it!”

He doesn’t want to lose anything. He needs his left hand. He needs his thumb. He _talks _about this stuff but he doesn’t _want _this! He doesn’t _like _pain!

Remus screams when he feels the cutters scrape against his bone, and then shock takes over. He doesn’t feel the thumb finally fall off. Doesn’t feel Patton dragging his finger against the bone. Doesn’t hear himself scream. Doesn’t see Deceit’s look of horror.

And thankfully for him, he doesn’t see Logan’s face later when Deceit is made to “deliver” the other thumb.

Roman _wasn’t _stupid. He wasn’t convinced that his brother was really in the Imagination. Or that Deceit had removed his own tongue. No, Deceit was too afraid. Logan was too tense. Something was going on, and he rather suspected Patton, to be perfectly frank.

Virgil shoots him down when he quietly brings it up.

“Stay out of it, Princey,” Virgil hisses, “you don’t want to get involved with this.”

“I’m _worried_,” Roman explains, “I saw bruises on Deceit’s neck the other day. And! And! I _swear _I saw Patton kiss him. Deceit looked so uncomfortable! Come on, Virgil, you _must _see what I mean, right? We need to – to do something!”

Virgil sighs. Roman was so earnest, so concerned, and rightfully so. But he knew better than to get involved, and clearly he now had to convince Roman of this.

“_You want to be one of us, huh, kiddo?” Patton had asked him sweetly, “I’ll help you with that. But you gotta do exactly as I say!”_

“_Or what?” Virgil had snapped back._

_And then Patton had grabbed his wrists, shoved him against the wall, and whispered in his ear._

“_Or I’ll tear off a limb or two!”_

_And Patton had twisted his left hand, crushing it deep into the wall. The bones ground against the surface, cracking and breaking. And Virgil had cried out, screaming, begging him to stop._

_Patton hadn’t meant it, of course. He just got carried away trying to help him. Or, so he said. And so Virgil told himself._

“_You’re lying to yourself,” Deceit once hissed at him._

_Maybe he was right._

“Roman. Seriously. Just...you don’t want to get involved.”

And Roman is left alone as Virgil gets up and walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is not so keen on getting involved......


	25. Lunch For Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton apologises to Deceit.

Deceit was a little suspicious of Patton making him lunch. His favourite foods spread out over a table in one of the Subconscious rooms. Beautifully cooked. They smelt and looked delicious. It felt taunting, really. He couldn’t _taste _them even if he ate them.

“I know you can’t taste them-” Yes. “-But I heard some people learn to taste! Wouldn’t that be exciting? It’d be nice if you could, kiddo!”

Deceit nods slightly as Patton sits opposite him, smiling.

“I’m really thankful that you’ve been so co-operative,” Patton tells him as he starts to eat. “You’re being so much better than you used to be, you know?”

Deceit frowns slightly, chewing slowly before moving the food about in his mouth.

“And I...can see that maybe I should be treating you nicer! You’ve been so good and well-behaved...and you’re helping Thomas by helping me, you know!”

Deceit can tell that Patton _believes _this to be true, to some extent. And the lack of lie-sensing feels odd. It _should _be a lie. Right?

Patton watches him eat, smiling and reaching out to gently rub Deceit’s injured arms. Deceit winces, but Patton doesn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he just doesn’t care. Deceit isn’t sure. Either way, he eats, trying hard to imagine the taste.

He swears he _almost _can. Almost. It’s all psychological, but he can pretend. Right?

“I think that if you keep being this good, we can forget about punishments,” Patton tells him softly, “I’m sorry we had to go through all those punishments...but you understand, right? I had to!”

Deceit wants to raise an eyebrow and tells Patton _exactly _where to place his fake apology. But instead he nods obediently. He didn’t know what Patton would do for his next “punishment”, after all. Whatever Patton said, he didn’t _trust _it.

“I really _am _sorry,” Patton lies, “can you forgive me, maybe? Pretty please?”

Deceit hesitates. He knows it’s all lies, but…

He nods. Patton beams, clapping his hands excitedly.

“Great!” Patton leans over the table and smiles coyly. “Give me a kiss to prove you forgive me?”

Deceit hesitates again, but Patton’s hands are far too close to his burnt and ruined wrists. So he leans in and kisses Patton quick, aiming for a peck and being dragged into something rougher and heated. When Patton lets him go he pulls away, curling into himself slightly.

He can feel the bite on his lower lip.

“You’re so cute,” murmurs Patton, “you’re lucky I’m a nice guy. Otherwise I’d want much more than a kiss...”

Deceit shudders and tries to shuffle away. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, and he didn’t want to know.

“Now...” Patton smiles, “since you’re so cute and so good for me...I want you to feed Remus today, and then go pay Roman a visit. I heard him talking to Virgil...and I just need you to pass on a warning for me. Alright? Nothing too big! And I promise I’ll reward you afterwards!”

Deceit frowns, and Patton seems to understand his reluctance of the reward part, at the very least.

“I’ll make you a replica of Virgil’s old hoodie,” Patton tells him, voice low, “pass on my warning to Roman and feed Remus, and I’ll give you a hoodie that looks, feels and even _smells _like the one we burnt.”

Deceit’s eyes widen, and Patton knows he’s caught him.

“Yes...and I’ll let you wear it as much as you want. You can even keep it when we go to sleep! Does that sound good, my cute little snake?”

Deceit ignores the nickname, instead focusing on the idea of owning something again. Something so dear to him. The burns sting beneath his compression top, as if to remind him that it _wouldn’t be the same. _But who cared? He wanted to remember when he and Virgil were close. Before Patton- No. No, he wasn’t going to think about that.

So he nods, and lets Patton kiss him again, not caring when it gets heated. Patton pulls away just after Deceit starts feeling anxious, afraid of what Patton could do.

“I don’t think the others would want to kiss you without your tongue,” Patton says after a pause, “but _I _like it.”

Deceit would choose not to comment that he _doesn’t _like it if he had a choice.

Patton knows Deceit doesn’t.

It only makes him happier.

Patton sits beside Deceit and wraps his arms around him, holding him in a warm embrace. And Deceit can’t help but relax into it. It’s so soft, so...caring. Even if it isn’t.

And right now, Deceit just wants to be cared for.

“My _cute _little snake,” Patton teases, and Deceit doesn’t even think of arguing.

Later Patton wraps a hoodie around Deceit, and Deceit cries at how familiar it is. It’s fake and he can _feel _the difference, _feel _how fake it is. But it’s so close.

All the memories, all the love, just out of reach.

As ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^.^


	26. As Bad As Morality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton forces Deceit to get involved.

Deceit doesn’t like having involvement with Remus’ treatment. Logan had started doing what Patton said, so Remus wasn’t being hurt. Although Patton had made many threats…

At least Deceit could convince Remus to eat, slowly feeding him by hand.

“I hate you,” Remus says at some point, “how can you help that...that...that monster?”

Deceit stares at him for a few moments and then shrugs. He doesn’t want anyone to find out the full extent of what’s happened. If Remus wanted to judge him, then so be it. He was judging himself as well, after all.

He checks Remus’ hands, applies disinfectant, and carefully bandages them back up. He hadn’t been told to do that, but he didn’t want Remus to suffer any more than he already had.

“I hate you,” Remus repeats, softer this time.

A pause.

“...Can you tell Logan I love him?”

A pause.

“Please, Dee...”

Deceit hesitates, and then nods slightly. He gives a thumbs up to Remus, who flinches at the motion, and heads out.

He goes to Logan first. Logan doesn’t look happy to see him. Logan doesn't look happy at all. Sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, exhaustion clear on his ashen face.

He hesitates and holds up his phone to play the message.

“Remus says he loves you.”

Logan blinks slowly, and then grabs the phone from Deceit, who jumps and tries (and fails) to yell.

“Shut up. I don’t want – I don’t want to see you,” Logan hisses, smashing the phone onto the floor. “You don’t get to help Patton hurt him, and then come and tell me – tell me _that_. Got it?”

Deceit stares at his broken phone, his mode of communication gone. He was going to need a pen and paper now, wasn’t he?

“You’re just as bad as Patton,” Logan says weakly, and slams the door.

And then Deceit stares at the door. He knows Logan’s just angry and lashing out. He knows Logan’s hurting. But it still hurts _him_ to be told that.

Then again, maybe he is as bad as Patton.

He sighs and turns back to go get the threat to deliver to Roman.

Roman is scribbling notes when he hears a knock at the door. And the lack of answer to “who is it” tells him it’s Deceit. Which is odd considering he’s supposed to be with Remus.

But he was pretty certain that was bullshit. Whatever Virgil said, Patton was _up _to something. Doing something. Planning something.

“Dee?” he asks upon opening the door, “god I’ve been so worried! Are you okay? I was-”

He blinks as Deceit holds out a small box. Upon taking the box, Deceit looks nervous, hopping from foot to foot and gingerly checking a bandaged wrist.

Roman opens the box carefully.

Inside is a rag doll dressed like Remus. With a pair of scissors through the middle. And alongside it, a note, that simple reads:

_You wouldn’t want to end up like your brother, would you?_

Roman pauses. Suddenly he felt ill. He was worried about Remus before, but now? What state was Remus in? Was he hurt? He looks at Deceit and realises that considering Deceit’s injuries, Remus could easily be in a bad state…

“Did Patton send this?” Roman asks, looking for confirmation, once and for all.

Deceit nods.

“...Deceit, we _have _to stop him! He’s hurting you, he’s hurting my brother...he’s going to end up hurting Thomas! Hurting everyone!”

Deceit hesitates, and then turns and runs away.

He didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to think about the consequences of not fighting Patton. He didn’t want to think about the consequences of fighting Patton.

“_I don’t want to whip him.”_

_He’d typed out the message to Patton in an attempt to be honest. Patton liked honesty, didn’t he? He didn’t want to whip Remus. Logan had only made a small mistake. Why did Remus need to be so badly injured?_

“_I thought we’d got over this. Do I have to keep punishing you?”_

_And Deceit was just thankful Patton hadn’t whipped him in front of Remus._

_He didn’t want anybody to know._

“Dee?”

Back in the present, Deceit had run straight into Virgil. Typical.

“...Are you...uh, okay?” Virgil asks awkwardly, “I, um...Roman thinks...”

Deceit blinks slowly, and shrugs.

He’d seen the state of Virgil’s wrists. He’d seen the state of Virgil’s _arms_. He didn’t want to upset him any further. Besides, what could Virgil do? And how could he tell Virgil all of what was going on?

“...Wait, is that my old jacket?”

Deceit blinks again, and then looks down at the jacket. It didn’t feel quite right. Of course it didn’t. It was a copy, a replica. But it was so _close_. So he nods slightly. He didn’t want to admit to Virgil that Patton had destroyed it.

“...It looks, uh, good on you. Yeah, you look nice.”

“_You know, you’d look nice in this,” Patton said, carding his fingers through his hair, “if you’d said yes earlier, I’d have let you wear it, I think.”_

He offers a weak smile, and then he runs.

Patton hums as he enters the right room in the subconscious. Emile is awake, possibly because of the drugs Patton had been injecting in him.

“How long have you been awake?” Patton asks, walking over and lifting Emile’s head. “Four days, is it?”

Emile breathes slowly. His eyes are bloodshot and his body is scattered with injuries of varying types. None of them anywhere close to being healed. None of them minor. A bone sticks out from his torso, blood trickles from a wound on the shoulder that opens up every time he tries to move, and the brand on his thigh is red, swollen and probably infected.

“Of course, I doubt you can tell time in here,” Patton admits, “but I’ve had you here for a while now! And you’re still going, congratulations!”

Emile doesn’t say anything, and Patton looks at his injured hands instead.

“I think...today we’ll pull off some of your fingernails...maybe even all of them! And then I think...let’s see how many bones in your feet we can break! I hear there’s 52 altogether!”

Emile shakes his head, as if that will do anything. But Patton grins nonetheless. If Emile wasn’t voicing his protests, then it meant Patton was winning.

“Alright, how about...if you give me a kiss I won’t hurt you?”

He sees Emile hesitate, but the therapist shakes his head again. Patton sighs and takes out a small sharp pair of forceps. Emile goes to struggle, as ever, but it’s pointless. Patton grips the broken, shattered hand and digs one side of the forceps in.

He uses the forceps to slowly yank off the first nail, and Emile screams. The fingernail is ripped from the bed, leaving blood and raw flesh underneath. The doctor sobs and cries, and Patton moves onto the next nail. On and on, until blood runs down Emile’s arms, and he can feel the dripping on his neck and torso.

Emile feels disgusting. Broken. Used.

“You should probably feel lucky that I’m doing this,” Patton says suddenly, pausing at the sixth nail. “Think about it, if I weren’t so keen to have a toy to go all out on...I would have just killed you back in the Imagination.”

Emile breathes deeply, and Patton smirks.

“Maybe you’d prefer that?” he asks, lifting Emile’s head harshly, “come on, you can be honest with me!”

The therapist breathes deeply, struggling to gain the energy and awareness to speak. And then finally he looks Patton in the eye, as steadily as he can.

“No...when they...when they...finally...stop you – they’re going to need me,” he whispers, “they’re going to...to need a therapist...so i-it’s _good _that I’m...alive...and I _want _to be alive.”

Patton doesn’t respond for a moment, and then he grins.

“You’re so sweet, Emile! How about then...you beg me to kiss you, and I _won’t _just kill you right now for what you just said?”

Emile’s eyes widen, and he feels Patton press the forceps to his throat, pressing harshly. Just enough to feel the pain. To know that Patton could so easily kill him, with just one push.

_You need to stay alive. They’ll need a therapist._

_I don’t want to kiss him._

_Do it for Deceit. Do it for Remus. Do it for Logan._

_I don’t want to kiss him!_

_You don’t have a choice, we need to stay alive!_

“A-Alright!” He yells. “...Please, P-Patton...” His voice is small and weak, broken and stripped down to nothing. “Please, k-ki...kiss me...”

“Louder.”

“...Kiss me, please...”

Patton hums. “Louder!”

“Please!! Kiss me!!”

And Patton grins, hands cupping his cheeks and pulling him closer as he kisses him. Firm and rough, pushing his tongue in and clearly enjoying the way Emile starts to cry.

“If you kiss me back, you’ll enjoy it more,” Patton hisses to him, pulling away for a moment. “Kiss me back, as if you like it, and I’ll leave your feet alone.”

And the worst part, Emile thinks, is that the adrenaline and the pain mixed with the intensity and..._intimacy_...makes him actually enjoy it a little. Just for a moment.

And it sickens him.

Patton pulls away after too long, smirking down at the Figment.

“See? I _told _you I’d make you enjoy it. Give me time, and I’ll make sure you’ll never be able to kiss another person without thinking of me. Without _wanting _me.”

“Never,” hisses Emile.

And Patton just laughs before leaving.

Virgil looks down at the photograph of him, Deceit and Remus. He’d long ago shoved it to the back of a drawer, hoping Patton never found it.

Deceit was hurt. Remus was almost certainly _being _hurt.

He needed to do something.

“_If you go back to them, I’ll cut off your arms and feed them to dogs whilst you watch.”_

He shudders. Shudders at the memories, shudders at how sweetly Patton had then reassured him. He had to do something though, right?

Maybe it’d be easier if he got Thomas involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next few chapters get graphic-


	27. Creepy Patton Is Just My Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton hurts Remus, Deceit is hurt by everyone, and Patton is creepy about Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, in this chapter there’s a few bits that could imply a variety of things. Eg, that Remus has a pain kink. There’s one line which sounds a bit like a non-con threat, but it’s meant to be Patton being creepy combined with the fact that Patton’s been holding back on how badly he hurts Deceit.
> 
> Just be aware that some parts of this (and the next two chapters) can be interpreted differently. Feel free to ask for confirmation of intended meaning if needed :)

“Logan, you need to stop arguing with me,” Patton says bluntly, “because I _swear _I’m going to hurt your boyfriend so bad-”

Deceit ducks into the conversation by pressing himself against Patton, who jumps as if having forgotten he was there.

Logan and Patton had an argument, and now they were in Logan’s room. A photo of Logan and Remus had been ripped up, and Logan was looking incredibly guilty. Deceit had been dragged in alongside them and was just hoping Patton would forget about it.

“Yes, my cute little snake?” Patton smirks, as he always does, and Deceit hesitates before pointing to his lips. “Oh? You want a kiss?”

It seems to distract him, with Patton telling Logan that next time he’d cut something else off Remus. With Patton dragging Deceit out and kissing him, firm and rough. And then Patton leans in and whispers in his ear.

“Don’t try to manipulate me, or I might have to break some of my personal limits.”

Deceit shrinks away, and after that he doesn’t try to do it again.

“Lovely to see you again,” Remus drawls when Patton and Deceit enter the room. “Here to whip me again? Or break my ribs? Ooh, are you going to kiss me like you do Deceit, huh, bitch?”

Deceit wonders why Remus does this. He should know better. Deceit certainly did. Maybe Remus just didn’t get yet how badly hurt he could be? Either way, Patton is quick to explain that Logan argued today, and so Remus had to be punished.

Either way, Patton takes a knife and starts cutting into Remus, soft nicks with the intention of causing pain more than damage. Remus yelps slightly, but doesn’t scream.

“I’m surprised you don’t like this,” Patton says slyly, “you talk a big game about torture, but you sure don’t seem to like it. Gosh, I was expecting you to have some sort of kink for pain...”

Deceit internally groans when Remus blushes. He hated watching. He so badly wanted to intervene, or somehow tell Remus to _shut the fuck up_. But anything he did always ended up resulting in punishment for himself.

_Patton is on top of him, a knife to his throat, lips by his jaw. Whispering how he could kill Deceit right there, with how weak he is. Kissing him until Deceit freezes on the spot, scared and helpless and vulnerable. Digging his fingers into wounds until Deceit yelps and whimpers into the kisses._

“...hmm...hey, my cute little snake.” Deceit is jolted back to the present. “I think Remus is a _slut _for pain when Logan does it.”

“Shut up!” Remus yells, and Deceit looks away. He had no interest in what Remus and Logan got up to. And he knew exactly what Patton was going to do.

“_You’re a bitch,” Patton hisses, and carves the word deep into him below his naval. “You’re a bitch and you’re going to remember it.”_

Patton grins, tears off what little of Remus’ shirt remains on him, and carefully starts carving into him. Deep, with wide chasm-like cuts. The blood takes a while to ooze out, but there’s a lot. And Remus screams, trying to struggle, but all his strength gone from weeks of being hung up like this.

Patton pulls back when he’s finished, grinning at the word _slut _written in capital letters across Remus’ chest. He takes his phone out and snaps a picture, smirking at how Remus sobs, at how Remus looks down at his chest and immediately wishes he hadn’t.

“Clean up Remus for me,” Patton snaps at Deceit, “I’m going to print out this picture so you can show Logan for me.”

Deceit nods slightly, and picks up the first aid kit. He watches Patton leave before going over to Remus, who starts crying harder.

“Logan’s never going to want to look at my chest again,” Remus sobs, “look at me, Dee, he – he’s not going to want me after this!”

Deceit pauses. He wasn’t sure how to comfort him without his voice. He’d comforted Remus many times in the past, but always with words.

“Who would want someone with _slut _carved into their chest...I have no thumbs and my back bleeds every time I move and I have _slut carved into my chest!”_

Deceit bites his lip, and goes to gently place a hand on Remus’ shoulder. He wants to help. He wants to comfort him. He wants to be supportive. He wishes he were strong enough still to fight Patton. He wishes he were still strong enough to fight back and make things difficult.

Remus growls at him when he touches him, tone changing from tearful to angry.

“Don’t touch me, traitor!” he hisses, and Deceit jumps back. “Sure you lost your tongue, but at least you’re safe now! You’re not locked up, you’re not being threatened! You’re just doing as he says because you’re a _coward!_”

Deceit blinks slowly as Remus continues to yell and scream. He knows Remus is just hurt and upset. He knows Remus is going through trauma and is lashing out. He knows Remus doesn’t _mean _half the messed up shit he comes up with.

But damn it, it still _hurts_.

“You don’t deserve to wear Virgil’s hoodie!”

Deceit growls back, as best as he can. He’s getting better at noises. With effort, he manages to make a noise close enough to the word “watch”. Not quite there, but enough that Remus pauses.

Deceit unzips the hoodie, places it neatly, carefully on the floor, and takes off the thin top below it. Remus stares as doing so reveals the mess Patton has made Deceit’s torso into.

Burns and scars and bandaged injuries. Long, deep cuts, whip marks across his back and ribs, with small injuries where the barbs got stuck into his skin. Bruises and scratches and broken ribs. Swollen joints and wrists rubbed raw from restraints.

Deceit shrugs and motions with his hands to indicate an _ah well _feeling, before redressing.

Of course, Patton reappears then with the photo, and tuts when he sees Remus still bleeding.

“I told you to clean him up. I thought we agreed I wouldn’t need to punish you again?” he mutters to Deceit, who looks away. “Hm...don’t worry. I won’t be too harsh. Just make sure you’re wearing the hoodie later, alright?”

Deceit hurries off with the photo, trying not to cry, and Patton turns back to Remus.

“...I swear,” Remus says after a few moments, “I’m going to rip out your eyes and dip them in burning wax whilst they’re still _just about _attached to you.”

Patton smirks, and then looks thoughtful.

“I’ll tell you what that’s like later.”

Logan stares at the photo for a long time. Deceit thinks it’s at least five full minutes. His knuckles are white, his face is pale and somehow devoid of emotion.

“You watched him do this,” Logan says quietly, at last.

Deceit steps back.

“...Patton carved _slut _into my boyfriend...and the only person available to help..._didn’t_...”

Deceit wants to argue. Wants to say that nobody else is doing anything. Wants to say that he _tries_ and is getting hurt for it. But Logan is crying and screaming, and Deceit runs away. He knows how Patton will hurt him, but not how Logan might hurt him. He won’t risk it.

Patton finds Deceit curled up in his (Patton’s) wardrobe, shaking.

“Trying to hide from me?” he asks coldly, and Deceit shakes his head, hesitantly spelling out _Logan _in sign.

Patton didn’t like Deceit using sign – or anything for communication – but occasionally he could allow finger spelling, which was really all Deceit knew at this point.

“Ah good. I was worried.”

He wasn’t, they both know it. But Deceit lets him lift him up, carrying him over to the bed and placing him on it. It’s still blood strained, but Patton prefers it that way. The more twisted he feels himself become, the less _moral _he becomes, the more he likes seeing evidence of what he does.

Right now, he likes seeing Deceit lying there in terror.

“You know, my cute little snake, Remus had a lot of things to say to me,” he says, humming as he trails his hands over the fake hoodie. It felt so odd, and it fascinated him. The fact that it disturbed Deceit only made it better. “Had to put duct tape over the kiddo’s mouth! And a knife in his stomach! And gosh I must tell Roman to keep his brother under control...clearly Logan doesn’t know how, after all...”

Deceit starts to blank out what Patton says. The good thing about not having a way to communicate was that he wasn’t expected to respond most of the time.

“But more importantly...”

Like now, when he should listen.

“You need to be punished for not doing what I said earlier. So, do you want me to be Roman or Remus?”

Deceit doesn’t want him to be _either _of the twins. But if he doesn’t choose, Patton will probably become Virgil again. Or worse, Thomas. He shudders. He would never again risk Patton being Thomas.

He holds up two fingers, and watches Patton shift into Remus. Watches as Patton smirks at him and runs his hands over the hoodie before digging his fingers into still healing injuries through the fake fabric.

“You know,” Patton murmurs, “I’ve always fancied kissing Virgil, he’s so cute...shift into him for me, or else I might have to do your punishment on him instead.”

Deceit breathes deeply, shifting despite his hatred of doing so. He didn’t want to be anybody but himself, ever. Virgil and Remus and him all hated shifting. But…

“Perfect. You look just like our cute little emo...”

Patton gets closer, kissing him and biting his lip, something predatory in his eyes. Deceit can feel his fingers open up old wounds, and accepts that he’s going to hurt.

Deceit can barely walk following his punishment. He isn’t even sure he can breathe. All he knows is that Patton can’t hurt Virgil, can’t take Remus’ form, can’t continue hurting everyone. And maybe it’s because Patton’s made it clear he’ll hurt Virgil as well if he feels like it, but Deceit _has _to do something.

No matter the punishment.

So he seeks out the one person he knows will help him if he asks, even if they hate it.


	28. You And You Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Deceit and Virgil discuss stuff.

Virgil doesn’t know what to make of Deceit turning up in his room at three in the morning. Patton was sure to notice, and even if Virgil escaped punishment, Deceit certainly wouldn’t.

But Deceit was bleeding and the hoodie was ripped and fading, as all fake things would, and the side was so clearly injured and hurting that Virgil couldn’t help but agree to take him in.

“You look like shit, what did he do, run you over with a truck?” Virgil asks, gently wrapping bandages around wounds and watching the fake hoodie fully fade away.

Deceit looks heartbroken at the loss. Virgil has never seen him like this. He’s only seen him emotionally hurt, and only twice. But now the side looks...broken. Completely and utterly broken down.

Deceit shrugs slightly, and Virgil realises that he can’t really reply. So he grabs his journal and a pen and offers it. Deceit hesitates, but takes it, and carefully scribbles down a reply.

_He made me pretend to be you._

Virgil shudders, remembering what Patton did before his “acceptance”. That, and Deceit’s current state, made him more than a little fearful.

_Don’t worry, I won’t let him hurt you._

“Thanks,” Virgil mumbles, frowning at some of Deceit’s wounds, “you have infections.”

Deceit shrugs, and scribbles down a response.

_Good, maybe it’ll kill me._

“You don’t mean that,” Virgil says, knowing Deceit does. Who wouldn’t, in this situation?

_I want to stop Patton. That’s the only reason I didn’t kill myself tonight. One way or another I’d have found a way._

Virgil doesn’t have anything to say to that, simply spreading antiseptic cream over Deceit’s infected wounds. He hadn’t been able to speak to Deceit for a while. And now the side turned up like this. Hurt, broken and suicidal.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers, “I...I swear, I’ll help...I...I know I should have helped sooner...but...I’m sorry, I was just so _scared_...”

He starts to shake, not wanting to make it about himself, but equally wanting to explain.

He saw the way Patton threatened Roman, the way Patton got up close and hissed at him. Patton always telling Roman all the things he could do to him, to Remus, to everyone. Telling him he was useless, and that he couldn’t even do anything if he wanted to. That he was a rubbish prince that didn’t deserve to even try and help.

He saw the way Logan clutched his head after Patton’s talks. The way Logan cried loud enough to keep Virgil awake all night. The way Logan isolated himself from everyone. The way Logan kept his mouth shut, never spoke around Patton. The pure fear in Logan’s eyes that came from every interaction with the so-called moral side. The way Patton dropped Remus into the conversation, as if nobody knew exactly what was going on.

He saw the way Deceit flinched away from them all. The way Deceit looked at them all with fear, how he froze up. He saw the kissing, the touching, the way Deceit cried in Patton’s room. He saw the times Deceit went to talk and could only make rasping noises. The times Deceit looked like he wanted to be comforted, but could only glance away. The guilt, the shame, the pure humiliation…

Virgil saw it all, and all he felt he could do was up Thomas’ anxiety.

With Roman, Remus, Logan and Deceit so low, most of what Thomas was running on was Patton’s twisted thoughts. Whatever was going on with Patton was scaring Thomas, because his morality and thinking was being affected. And _Thomas _was a good person, even if his morality was getting out of control.

Making Thomas too anxious to do anything that Patton suggested was all he could do.

He blinks as Deceit makes a scribbled note.

_Stop making Thomas anxious. He has to call Patton out._

Virgil stares at the note, and then at Deceit.

“...You...you know what he’ll do to me if I do that.”

_Patton pinned Virgil down, and a million things ran through his head. There was a finger on his lips, and the moral side grinned._

“_If you talk to Remus again, I’ll sew your pretty little mouth shut. And if you ever go touching Deceit again, I’ll do to you whatever you do with him. Got it, my pretty little shadowling?”_

Virgil hugs himself tightly. He still wasn’t sure what was going on now that Remus and Deceit had become part of the group…

Deceit nudges him slightly and he jumps. But Deceit holds up the book again, shaky writing across it.

_I won’t let him hurt you._

_Patton didn’t hesitate to take a knife to the hoodie, tearing apart the fake fabric. And even though Deceit whimpered and cried, Patton continued, making bloody cross hatching across his skin. If there was a part of his torso untouched, unharmed, it wasn’t now._

“_Of course, my shadowling has such pretty skin...all smooth and ready to be whipped into shreds.”_

_Deceit had sobbed and wanted to plead with him. To beg him to stop hurting the others, to stop threatening the others, to just hurt him, and him alone. He was the one to start Patton’s descent, so he **deserved **it._

“_But you, my cute little snake, you’re already ruined, you’re already all mine. Nobody will want you. Nobody will care about you. If I weren’t hurting you, you’d be all alone. So be damn grateful and thank me.”_

_And Patton didn’t stop hurting him until he managed a sound close to the word “thank”._

Virgil smiles weakly, and applies a salve to the deep bruising around Deceit’s neck, ignoring the dark circular patches on his throat.

“Thank you...okay. I...I’ll try. But please, keep me safe. I...please.”

Deceit blinks slowly, and then nods.

He’d failed everyone else, but he could still try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, anyone catch my foreshadowing last chapter?


	29. Eye See You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thomas confronts Patton-

Patton liked wrapping his belt around necks, he discovered. Sure, with Deceit he had to be careful. He couldn’t fully let his frustrations out like that. But on the dear doctor?

Emile chokes and coughs and pleads to be let go, but Patton keeps going, until Emile passes out. And once awake, he does it again. Again and again, until Emile begs to be kissed instead. Patton likes the kissing. And Emile will do anything to avoid the belt again.

So they kiss, for too long, too intense, with Patton half sitting on his lap, pressing against the brand on Emile’s thigh.

And then Patton pulls away, grinning, hands resting on Emile’s waist in an almost intimate manner.

“Remus gave me a _fantastic _idea earlier,” he whispers, leaning in and licking next to Emile’s eye then down his jawline, knowing how disgusted it makes the doctor feel. “I have a spoon, a knife, and some hot wax that I’ve made sure to keep melted. Wanna guess what I’m gonna do?”

Emile whimpers, shaking his head and watching Patton twist over to his bag, taking out the spoon.

“Shame...now, I want you to really focus on me for a moment...”

Emile sniffs and tries to stay composed, even as Patton lifts up his head and looks him in the eyes. Deep blue, different from Thomas’ brown. Grinning, something between delight and predatory in his face.

And it’s the last thing he sees before Patton scoops out his eyes, lets them dangle from the sockets whilst he screams and screams. He screams louder when Patton pours hot wax onto the eyes, the nerves still barely working.

He doesn’t stop screaming when Patton cuts the eyes off fully, when he’s left with nothing, when his body goes numb and the pain stops because of the pure dead feeling taking over.

He only stops when his vocal chords give out, and he’s left in the darkness unable to cry, unable to talk, with the image of Patton burned forever into his mind.

He feels Patton shuffle, feels him kiss him.

“You look beautiful like this.”

He can’t bring himself to try struggle or fight or…

“I’m going to kiss you and stroke those sockets, and then I’ll make you beg for more. And if you’re _lucky _and beg like a good boy, I’ll give you more.”

Emile feels fingers where his eyes should be.

Emile feels lips that don’t belong on his.

Emile still wants to live.

He has to be there for the others when Patton falls.

Thomas feels odd. He looks at a pink haired man in the supermarket, sees his thick rimmed glasses, and has the urge to pull them out.

_Probably Remus. Damn intrusive thoughts._

However, it’s when he’s with Joan later that he knows something is wrong – and with Patton.

They’re just talking, and suddenly Thomas feels his anxiety slip away. He has no problem casually arguing, and suddenly it’s heated, and he’s angry. And it feels like it’d be _right _to grab a knife and slice up Joan’s neck.

He freezes at that though. He forces himself to apologise, forces himself to tell Joan to come back another time, and he sinks into the sofa. Hadn’t he been feeling odd for a while? And now he wasn’t even anxious. Had Virgil ducked out again? No, that didn’t explain the urges to hurt someone…

“Remus?” he calls, nervously, and when he gets no response, “Remus, come on out, this isn’t funny.”

He tries to summon him, to no luck.

Remus always came when summoned. Always. He was always eager to talk to Thomas, usually alongside Logan. So _why _wasn’t he coming?

If it wasn’t Virgil or Remus, then who else could make him want to hurt someone? It was illogical for it to be Logan. Logan would see no reason for it. Roman _perhaps_, but he loved being the good guy, the prince, the person to save everyone…

That left Patton and Deceit. Patton was morality, so surely he wouldn’t? He was so sweet, so innocent...Deceit felt like the obvious villain…

...But then again, hadn’t Deceit hurt himself? ...Or, what if _someone else _hurt him?

“...It feels..._right_...to hurt...oh god, Patton-”

Suddenly Thomas realises.

“..._Patton!”_

There’s a pause, and then the moral side pops up, smiling.

“Hey there kiddo! What’s up?”

“Patton, what’s going on?”

A shadow seems to flicker across Patton’s face, and suddenly Thomas feels less okay being alone with him. Even if he _was _a part of him, Thomas had no idea how independent or in control Patton was. Or any of them, for that matter.

“I don’t know what you mean – is this about poor Dee? He’s doing his therapy sessions, but oh, he’s struggling a bit...”

There’s a greater shadow across Patton’s face. Had his jawline always been so sharp? His eyes so dark? His torso seems longer than usual, thin and almost distorted…

“...Deceit!!”

Deceit arrives quicker than Patton, looking afraid, and is joined by Virgil, who looks just as scared, if not more.

“Guys, just tell me. What’s going on? Why do I _feel _this way? I’m so confused, I don’t _want _to hurt anyone, but it feels...”

“...It feels right because Patton’s messed up,” Virgil says, suddenly appearing confident, standing straight. “He cut out Deceit’s tongue. He’s been hurting him too. And Remus. And I think he’s been threatening Logan and Roman too.”

Deceit nods, not daring to look anyone in the eyes, but silently strong.

Thomas stares at Patton, who seems to twist and distort before his very eyes. His eyes turn darker, his arms lengthen, and when he growls he shows sharp shark-like teeth.

“You little _bastards!”_

And then Patton grabs Virgil and Deceit by the arms before sinking out.

Patton drags Virgil and Deceit with him as he sinks out. In the subconscious it’s just them and Remus for now, in a room none of them can sink back out of, as ever.

Virgil can only stare in shock at Remus, but Deceit knows that they’re going to be punished, badly.

“You two...” Patton breathes deeply, and the trio see Remus struggle, the side clearly terrified for the other two dark sides. “Deceit, stand to the side. I’ll deal with you after Virgil.”

Virgil cries out as Patton pulls him over to the wall, and Deceit stares helplessly as Patton uses cuffs on the wall to tie Virgil to it. The fight or flight reflex in Virgil simply isn’t enough to get out, and Patton unzips his hoodie slowly.

“You know, Virgil,” he hums, “once upon a time, I would have loved to be unzipping your hoodie, for a very different reason...”

Deceit sees Patton pick up his favourite whip. The one with fifty straps, all with barbs on the end.

Deceit sees Remus struggling, desperate to help, believing he can help.

“Dee!” Virgil is yelling, “please, please, you promised – you promised me you wouldn’t let me get hurt!”

Deceit sees Patton grinning.

And he can’t let Patton hurt Virgil.

He promised.


	30. You Can Make A Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Patton whips Deceit across the face-

Deceit has never moved so fast, half throwing himself in front of Virgil, not caring that the barbs hit his face, rip off scales. He doesn’t care that tackling Patton ends up with him on the floor, choking as Patton swears at him and tightens his grip around his throat.

_I can’t let him hurt Virgil. I can’t let him hurt anyone else. This is all my fault. I have to stop him._

Deceit chokes and reaches for anything near him. Patton’s tools are scattered, and he doesn’t know what he’s grabbed.

He only knows that he’s holding a handle, and that he’s about to pass out.

Patton’s grip is tight. Patton is angry. There’s no grin. Just pure anger and malice.

Deceit swings the tool at Patton’s head.

There’s a dull _thud_.

The hammer slams into Patton’s ear.

Patton’s eyes widen, and he lets go, falling to the side. Still conscious, just stunned. And Deceit doesn’t waste time catching his breath. He sits up and swings the hammer again.

He makes sure Patton is unconscious before he takes a deep breath.

He doesn’t want Patton _dead_.

Patton is, sadly, needed.

But Patton isn’t in a position to hurt them now.

There’s silence, save Deceit’s laboured breathing.

And then.

“Holy shit dude, I didn’t think you could...wow...shit...”

Deceit looks up at Virgil and smiles weakly. Slowly, he stands up, and first limps over to Remus. He hurts, he’s still hurting from the weeks of abuse, from his recent punishment, and there’s blood running down his face.

He still undoes Remus’ restraints, too numb to acknowledge the terror it brings.

“Thanks,” Remus murmurs, smiling slightly, “um...good to see you’re on our side...”

_Always_, thinks Deceit, and then moves over slowly to Virgil, helping him down as well, carefully and holding him gently for a moment before taking him over to Remus. All three dark sides together…

It’d be nice if not for the circumstances.

Suddenly Logan, Roman and Thomas appear, rising up with concern in their eyes. Logan looks exhausted and distraught, Roman nervous as hell, and Thomas just..._done_.

“Are you three-holy shit, Remus, your hands-” Thomas covers his mouth, staring in horror at the state of him.

Remus looks down at his hands, the thumbs missing and simply scarred lumps instead. He forces a grin and laughs slightly.

“They look pretty sick, right? I’m going to freak Roman out _so much_-”

Roman laughs just as weakly, and Logan sprints over, wrapping his arms around Remus firmly, not daring to let go.

Deceit meanwhile stares down at Patton’s unconscious body, blood seeping out still, slowly but surely.

“...Is he alive?” Thomas asks softly, and everyone goes silent to look over.

Deceit nods slightly, crouching to check for a pulse, and nods again, giving a thumbs up.

“...I vote we chain him up down here until we’re sure he’s not a threat anymore,” Logan mutters, holding Remus up as the side starts to wobble, “we can’t trust him.”

“I agree,” Virgil says, fiddling with the zippers on his hoodie.

Remus nods quickly, whilst Roman does so more hesitantly.

“...What do you think, Deceit?” Thomas asks, “I mean, it looks like democracy wins out either way...”

Deceit shrugs, and starts lifting Patton up. With help from Roman and Virgil, he chains Patton up where Virgil had been a moment ago. He almost feels bad. Almost.

“...What now?” asks Roman, sounding numb and confused.

“Let’s check these three for injuries,” Logan says firmly, “and get them healed up.”

“Let’s use my apartment,” Thomas suggests, then, “...how do we get out of here?”

Deceit points to the door, and mimes walking up a flight of stairs. He’d like to say it with sarcasm, because _really_, if you couldn’t sink out then surely you’d consider the room’s only exit? And then search until you find the staircase in the maze that is the subconscious.

But he couldn’t use sarcasm, so simple miming it was.

“Ah, right...let’s go then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay recovery is gonna come soon! :D


	31. Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author actually uploads a new chapter-

“I’m fine, really,” Virgil mutters, “I wasn’t hurt.”

Logan sighs in relief, and Deceit smiles slightly. At least he could protect _someone_. Even if just a little bit.

“That’s good...I’m glad one of you is okay at least,” admits Thomas, looking troubled and apologetic, “um, Remus, where are you most injured? We can check there first...”

Deceit didn’t mind that the other two were checked first. He had been handling being injured for a while, after all. Remus looked to be more affected by it than him. Or maybe he was lying to himself to distract from the feeling of hurt that after months of being hurt and disbelieved, it took the others being hurt to be taken seriously and offered help.

“Why did Patton look so odd anyways?” Thomas asks, as Logan carefully inspects Remus over, “we were talking and suddenly became...weird and distorted. Reminded me of Spinel from the new Steven Universe movie.”

The mention of the cartoon made Deceit wish Dr Picani was with them. Maybe now Patton was out of the picture he could continue meeting with him? Therapy sounded good at this point.

“Same reason as why Remus and I split,” explains Roman simply, “you perceived him as...twisted and corrupt. So he became a form based on that. We can control out bodies quite a bit, but your perceptions have a lot of impact.”

Thomas seems to hesitate. “So...it’s my fault?” he asks, and glances at Deceit, with his snake-like face.

Deceit looks away and Virgil smiles slightly.

“It’s...yes. But, it’s fine,” Virgil says softly, “and what he _did_ wasn’t your fault. So...don’t blame yourself.”

Secretly, Deceit wishes he could be told that too. Wasn’t it his fault that Remus had been hurt? Was that why they were ignoring him? Did he not deserve treatment because he’d let Patton get away with these things?

He watches as Logan checks over Remus, as Thomas and Roman question Virgil, checking the anxious side really isn’t hurt, and something close to resentment bubbles up inside him.

“Are you okay?”

Deceit jumps at Remus’ soft question, and turns to the side, forcing a smile. He nods, gives a thumbs up, and then sees the gnarled stumps on Remus’ hands and feels himself go pale.

“So, uh...the thumbs...and the tongue...” Thomas hesitates, “...are you two going to...can you like, regrow them?”

Nobody replies, and Deceit can see the way Thomas’ heart sinks.

“In theory,” Roman explains finally, “in theory it’s possible for us to regrow limbs...but Dee’s still not got his tongue back, so I assume...I assume it’s not going to happen in practice.”

There’s no response to that.

What can any of them even say, to make the knowledge that two of them have lost parts of themselves forever any more bearable?


	32. Making Amends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's difficult to be around someone you've been ignoring and hurting. Logan wants to show Deceit he's sorry. Deceit thinks they're all angry at him.

Going back to his room, empty yet chaotic, so little and yet so much, was perhaps the most painful thing in the next few days. As if it weren’t enough to have lost his tongue, he had to lose so many important things to him. Photos, Virgil’s old hoodies, the variety of strange drawings that Remus had done for him once. It wasn’t fair.

And yet, Deceit couldn’t bring himself to be angry about it. He should be, right? Furious at what Patton has done. Relieved and angry and ready to demand that the others take what happened to him serious. Make them all see the extent of the damage. Or at the very least, tearful and upset and hurt.

He doesn’t feel any of that. There’s merely a sense of numbness, and some form of grief. Maybe because he can’t shake the feeling that he’s responsible. He should feel guilty. He started all of this. If he’d been better, Patton wouldn’t have hurt him. And if Patton hadn’t hurt him, Remus wouldn’t have been hurt.

Yes, it was his own fault. It was no wonder everyone was so quiet around him. They were probably thankful he was gone.

“Should one of us go and check on Deceit?” Thomas asks.

There’s a resounding silence as everyone looks at each other awkwardly, and then finally Roman speaks up.

“I’m not sure he’d want to see us right now,” he says, “I mean, think about how long it took us to help...I feel like we ignored him.”

“We messed up,” Virgil agrees, “we believed Patton. And we shouldn’t have.”

Thomas sighs. Understanding perfectly. But how were they to know?

“We’ll try talk to him,” Logan says after a few moments, “...if he wants to talk to us.”

Being around Deceit wasn’t easy. Logan kept meaning to talk to him, see how he was doing, but the side seemed distant and empty. Logan tried calling Dr Picani to see if the man could arrange a therapy session, but he was getting no reply for some reason. It was concerning, but Roman and Remus insisted that the figment was still in the imagination.

“He’s my favourite figment,” Roman had protested, “I’d know if he’d left.”

“But what if something happened?” Logan insisted.

Roman had shuffled anxiously, then sighed.

“Alright, I’ll have a look, okay? ...I don’t want to think of him as being hurt, but...I suppose anything’s possible.”

Logan hadn’t seen Roman much after that. When he did, he seemed restless, never wanting to talk, always on edge. It seemed the search for Emile Picani wasn’t going well.

Logan meanwhile had his own problems. Remus and him were working on prosthetic thumbs, combining the practicalities with design. So far they resembled tentacles more than they resembled thumbs, but Remus seemed excited about it, so Logan didn’t mind.

As well as that, he couldn’t help but feel guilty for how he’d treated Deceit whilst everything had been going on. He’d lashed out at him, acted like he was to blame. And logically he wasn’t. He knew that. He’d let his emotions get the better of him.

He’d been scared, and Deceit had paid the price.

He needed to start fixing that.

“Deceit, I...came to see how you’re doing.”

Deceit looks up from his bed to see Logan standing in the doorway, looking around at the destroyed room. So many precious items of his just...gone. It hurt, and the wound stung even more with Logan looking at the mess.

He gives a thumbs up as Logan walks over, and the logical side seems to hesitate before taking out a small box.

“I...I’m sorry for the way I behaved, Deceit.”

Deceit sighs. Logan had been skirting around him for the past few days. He knew that Logan probably blamed him for Remus being hurt, and he didn’t really want to be around him as a result. Besides, it’s not like he could talk about it to him.

Logan holds out the box to Deceit, and Deceit hesitantly takes it, slowly opening it.

Inside is a phone.

With a text to speech app on the main page.

Deceit grins widely. _Finally _he had a voice again – he breathes deeply, fear bubbling up inside him. What if it got taken away? Was Logan going to take it from him? He feels his breathing going out of control, quick and shallow as he starts to shake.

“Deceit?”

The side gets up and suddenly shoves Logan out of the room, and Logan can only stare in stunned silence as Deceit slams the door shut.

A moment later, he hears a small robotic voice.

“_Thank you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update? For real? You may be wondering if your eyes deceive you, but nope! I'm back, and hopefully I can keep updating at a decent rate!  
Sorry for the delay, but thank you for your patience, you're great readers!


	33. Peaceful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman finds Emile.

Patton hadn’t been to hurt or taunt Emile in days. He didn’t know how much time had passed, exactly, but it felt like forever. And being alone in darkness, badly injured, with the place where his eyes were throbbing badly, well...it kinda sucked.

He was light headed, dizzy, achy, and he wasn’t sure how much longer a figment could survive without some form of..._something_. He curses himself for never thinking to ask Roman if he needed something to survive. He felt hunger, he felt thirst, but did he _need _water and food? Or would it only be uncomfortable? He wasn’t sure, and that made him even more afraid.

“Help,” he tries whispering, once again.

He expected nothing. He had given up on getting a response long ago. But there wasn’t much to do, except for weakly call out into the abyss as if it might help.

“Dr Picani?”

This time, however, he gets a response.

He jerks his head up, trying to look around, even though he knows it makes no difference.

“W-Who’s there?!” he calls desperately, “P-Patton? Is that you? Please, don’t hurt me!”

He hears footsteps, and his instinct is to pull away, but he can’t.

“No, it’s – it’s Roman – Dr Picani, are – I mean – I’m here to help you-”

Emile doesn’t dare hope that this is real, but when his chains are undone, his body free to move, as much as one can after so long starved and restrained, he knows it may well be.

He immediately reaches out blindly, grabbing onto Roman as soon as he feels him, pulls himself weakly against the side and buries his bloody face against his shoulder.

“It’s...ok...” he hears Roman reassure him gently, “I’m here, I’m gonna take you to the others and get you healed up...it’s gonna be ok...”

And as Emile feels Roman pick him up carefully, he has only one thought:

_This is what safety feels like._

“Logan, you know shit, do you know how to heal a Figment?”

Not appreciating being intruded upon in his own room, Logan looks as if to make a snarky or heated comment. But when he looks up and sees Roman holding a beaten and bloody Emile Picani he stops dead in his tracks.

“I do, for the most part,” he tells him honestly, “get him sat down.”

Roman sits Emile down on Logan’s desk chair as Logan leaves his room, gently reassuring him that he would be ok.

Logan returns with first aid supplies, as if bandages will be anywhere near enough.

“M-My eyes,” Emile whispers, and Logan blanches as he makes himself look. Hollow, jagged half healed edges, and raw red flesh where the eyes should have been.

“...I...I’ll do my best,” Logan tells him honestly, gently patching the injury up with disinfectant and bandages. He dresses it carefully, and doesn’t comment that he can’t heal the eyes.

At some point whilst patching Emile up, the Figment falls asleep, resting peacefully against Roman. Too peacefully. Logan feels the need to check for a pulse. But the Figment is fine, just exhausted and finally able to sleep in peace.

“Can you fix his eyes?” Logan asks Roman, quiet as to not wake up Emile.

“I...no...I was, um, I was hoping you could,” Roman admits, “...c-can you?”

Logan shakes his head slowly, applying careful butterfly strips to a few wider cuts.

“If I could fix that sort of thing, my boyfriend would have his thumbs back,” Logan mutters bitterly, internally cursing Patton. What sort of person would _do _this?

“...We’re going to have to work out what to do with Patton.”

“I know.”

Neither of them talk after that. Not about the injuries, about Patton, or even who has to tell Emile that he’s permanently blind.

Neither of them know how to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is on a mini hiatus from now as I want to get the last few chapters of Again and Prince and Pet out, cause then I can properly focus on this and SMAF!!


End file.
